Or, in Lloyd's inimitable words.
The most asked question at my worldwide popular, legendary, renowned master class is, "How do I get my no-budget, zombie giraffe flick distributed?†Well, have no fear, because the 3rd volume in Uncle Lloydie's how-to series of go-to guides for filmmakers reveals the secrets, methods and tricks (short of prostituting yourself and selling bodily organs) to getting your film distributed. With Troma, our legendary 35-year-old independent studio, Michael Herz and I have developed a low cost, high-impact method for low-budget film distribution, which has lead to a high-profile brand name and a catalog of over 800 titles! Now you can learn to get you movie out there, too. I will be your busty tour guide, sharing with you my hard-earned cinematic distribution know-how!
-LEARN! How I achieved box office success with my fowl chicken zombie masterpiece Poultrygeist, and everyone's favorite super-human hero from New Jersey, the Toxic Avenger, for practically no money!
-SMELL! The sewer that is mainstream distribution as I drag you through the muck, be-farting upon you the real scoop behind "indie†and mainstream distribution deals.
-MASTICATE! (No, not that kind of masticating) On the knowledge of DVD distribution as I es-chew the fat and get to the skinny of Do-It-Yourself DVD distribution. I will teach you the fundamentals of having a good website (like www.Troma.com) to boost your sales!
-FEAST! On my golden brown chicken puns as I cleverly cluck your brain out with the irrefutable knowledge of how I sold over 10,000 units of the 3-disc limited-edition Poultrygeist DVD in a matter of months!
YES! If you have any doubt that I will not be able turn your no-budget zombie giraffe opus into box-office gold, then put down this book proposal! No wait, pick it back up, pick it back up! This is a recession damnit, Troma needs all the money we can, er... I need to educate you filmmakers looking for distribution gold (brown)! After reading my book, any damn filmmaker will be able to "Sell Your Own Damn Movie!â€
Featuring expert advice from those who have successfully sold their films:
* David Cronenberg (Director of The Fly, Crash, A History of Violence)Lloyd Kaufman is one of the very few genuine auteur filmmakers. He has written, produced, and/or directed more than 25 films, including "The Toxic Avenger", "Terror Firmer", "Tromeo and Juliet", and "Poultrygeist: Night of the Chicken Dead". Kaufman is president of the world-famous Troma Entertainment, the oldest and, arguably, the longest-running truly independent film studio in history. He is also the president of the IFTA (Independent Film & Television Alliance), whose members produce more than 400 independent films and countless hours of television programming each year and generate more than $4 billion in distribution revenues annually.