Stop Arguing, Start Talking: The 10 Point Plan for Couples in Conflict

Susan Quilliam

dhj 2012 · Random House

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For some people, an argument with a loved one is a catastrophe, a sign that a relationship must surely be over, for others a heated discussion is a way of letting off steam, a way of ensuring that passion is kept alive. But what is 'normal' communication for couples? How can you get past the raised voices or silent disapproval, to listen and understand what is really being said by your partner?

Relationships change over time, and the way we communicate does too. This practical, readable and sometimes humorous book, based on over 60 years of cumulative experience from Relate, the marriage guidance experts, will help couples to break free of old patterns of behaviour and avoid using words as weapons when the going gets tough. It will help encourage upfront discussion rather than resorting to nagging, and will give you the skills you need to understand what your partner is really trying to say to you - to bring discussion rather than confrontation back into your relationships.

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Susan Quilliam is a psychologist specialising in intimate relationships and with over 35 years' experience in offering relationship support through her work as a writer, coach, trainer, consultant and commentator. She sits on the Editorial Committee of the global Journal of Family Planning and Reproductive Health, and on the Advisory Boards of the British Association of Sex Educators, the Sexual Advice Association, Women's Health Concern and the Open University Enduring Love? project. She is also one of the Family Planning Association's designated 21st Century Achievers. Susan is an advice columnist for several health websites, magazines as well as broadcasting and presenting internationally on topics surrounding love and sexuality. She works closely with Relate and with them has written two books for Vermilion, The Relate Guide to Staying Together - which the Times described as "the only relationship book you'll ever need" and Stop Arguing Start Talking, which is currently Relate's best selling book.