Unorthodox: The Scandalous Rejection of My Hasidic Roots

Deborah Feldman

Feb 2012 · Sold by Simon and Schuster

About this eBook

Now a Netflix original series!

Unorthodox is the bestselling memoir of a young Jewish woman’s escape from a religious sect, in the tradition of Ayaan Hirsi Ali’s Infidel and Carolyn Jessop’s Escape, featuring a new epilogue by the author.

As a member of the strictly religious Satmar sect of Hasidic Judaism, Deborah Feldman grew up under a code of relentlessly enforced customs governing everything from what she could wear and to whom she could speak to what she was allowed to read. Yet in spite of her repressive upbringing, Deborah grew into an independent-minded young woman whose stolen moments reading about the empowered literary characters of Jane Austen and Louisa May Alcott helped her to imagine an alternative way of life among the skyscrapers of Manhattan. Trapped as a teenager in a sexually and emotionally dysfunctional marriage to a man she barely knew, the tension between Deborah’s desires and her responsibilities as a good Satmar girl grew more explosive until she gave birth at nineteen and realized that, regardless of the obstacles, she would have to forge a path—for herself and her son—to happiness and freedom.

Remarkable and fascinating, this “sensitive and memorable coming-of-age story” (Pittsburgh Post-Gazette) is one you won’t be able to put down.

Ratings and reviews

Deborah has zero credibility to give an objective portrayal of the hasidim, she is obviously biased by her desire for revenge against a community that seemingly abandoned her. There's a blog out there dedicated to exposing the many lies and libels contained in this book. Search deborah-feldman-exposed.

I was looking forward to this book as the Hasidic Community fascinates me. I have seen a couple of documentaries online about male members of this ultra-strict sect leaving but nothing about women trying to break free has been committed to film. I suspect this is because they are in hiding and fear repercussions from their family and the wider community. The only information on women leaving have been text based with names changed. So, based on that Ms Feldman is to be congratulated for coming forward to tell her story so boldly and honestly. However, it did all get a bit Groundhog Day. The same set pieces would be revisited again and again and I did find that this became a distraction from the story. Whilst I am interested in the day to day life of a Hasidic Community the telling is necessarily biased and we will sadly never see an account of daily life from someone that is happy with their life within the community. Instead the book focuses entirely on the negative emotions of the author towards the community, particularly after her marriage. The book left me feeling conflicted but not with any additional information about Hasidic Judaism and that is something I was hoping for. Certainly the information given tallies with other accounts I have read or seen but it did not bring anything new or unknown to the table. This review has been a long time coming. I actually read this book between the 30th July and 3rd August 2020 so my memory is a bit foggy about all the plot lines. Fortunately, I have a notebook where I jot some initial thoughts on the book and an overall ranking so between the book blurb and that I did have a reasonable handle on what I thought at the time of reading.

As a Chassidik, mother of 4, by choice, who ran from the non relIgious way of life, at the young age of 8, to my religious father and stepmother, I'm appalled and surprised at how many uneducated people there are. At first glance, as you start reading, I agree, that if you know nothing about the ultra orthodox lifestyles and customs, you may think of this book as a story of a young woman's struggle to live in the "jailed" community of Satmar, when in truth she escaped from Airmont NY. Too many lies.

About the author

Deborah Feldman was raised in the Satmar Hasidic community in the Williamsburg section of Brooklyn, New York. She lives in Berlin with her son.