Murder on a Moon Trek: Fly Me to the Moon

· Sky Crimes and Mysteries Book 1 · Polyester Press
4.4
31 reviews
Ebook
194
Pages
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About this ebook

Set phasers to cozy in this humorous outer space series starter readers are calling Veronica Mars meets Star Trek. (or is it Judy Jetson meets Stephanie Plum? You decide!) National bestselling author Diane Vallere sends you out of this world alongside the uniform lieutenant on an intergalactic cruise with and a dead body and plenty of suspects!


Sylvia Stryker has no business being on the next Moon Unit Cruise Line, unless you count aspirations and dreams. The career that once felt within her reach—Intergalactic Cruise Ship Security—disappeared the day her dad was arrested for collusion with space pirates. Since then, she’s begrudgingly been running the ice mine for her aging mother, the two of them social pariahs amongst their fellow Plunians. Everything changes when the uniform lieutenant position on Moon Unit 6 opens up days before departure. Sylvia immediately puts her hacking skills to use, uploading bogus credentials onto the crew manifest. Now to just lay low, do her job, and impress the new boss.


Her plan goes off without a hitch until a non-celestial body falls from the uniform inventory closet after departure. Reporting it means drawing attention, the very opposite of laying low. When the head of security shows up to investigate and throws her into the spaceship holding cell, her onboard status shifts from staff to prisoner. If Sylvia can’t expose the killer herself, she’ll be bunking with her dad at the local space prison.

What readers are saying: 

“I really enjoyed this mixture of science fiction and cozy mystery.”​

“I loved how Vallere combined science fiction, mystery, drama, and humor making this book very enjoyable and hard to put down.”​

“I gave it a try simply because the author was Diane Vallere….I'm so glad I did….Just as you would expect, this is a totally FUN murder mystery that doesn't disappoint!”​

“It's like Sherlock Holmes in space... but better!

​​

“I loved this mystery set in space.”

“It is a murder mystery. It is a spy story. It is a futuristic science fiction story. It is pure genius and entertaining from start to finish.”

“It's as if Star Trek married a cozy...very well done! Read and enjoy!”

It's not easy being purple, especially when you're trapped on a spaceship with people who want to arrest you for a crime you didn't commit...and the one who did. 


Murder on a Moon Trek is the quirky first novel featuring uniform lieutenant Sylvia Stryker. If you like unique characters, delightful plots, and cool futuristic fashion, you'll love Diane Vallere's entertaining interstellar series.


In MURDER ON A MOON TREK author Diane Vallere weaves a captivating tale of intergalactic intrigue that will keep you guessing until the final page. With a cast of vibrant characters, including the ever-doomed "red shirts" and the mischievous Martians, this outer space cozy mystery is a delightful blend of humor, suspense, and otherworldly charm. Brace yourself for a cosmic adventure unlike any other!


Previously published as FLY ME TO THE MOON.

Is it a cozy mystery set in space, or an outer space with a cozy mystery? You decide!

CHAPTER ONE EXCERPT:

When Moon Unit 5 kicked off its inaugural trip from my home planet of Plunia, I expected the uniform closet to be stuffed to capacity. I just hadn’t expected it to be stuffed with a body. But here we were, light years from the space station where we’d departed, and instead of a closet of freshly laundered uniforms, I had a dead man. No matter how thoroughly I'd planned for today, I never could have planned for this. 

Maybe he wasn’t dead. Maybe he was tired. Maybe he’d had a late night partying before today’s departure and crawled into my uniform closet to take a nap. 

As unlikely as that explanation was, I wasn’t yet willing to accept the more probable reality. I knelt next to him and checked for a pulse on the side of his neck. His skin was cold to the touch, which was either due to his not-alive state or the twenty-degree difference between earthling temperatures (his) and Plunian temperatures (mine). In this case, it was both. No pulse, no breathing. A Code Blue. 

Moon Unit Corporation ran a fleet of cruise spaceships whose mission was to provide relaxing getaways to one of our galaxy’s moons. Ever since I’d learned they were reopening after years of inactivity, I’d fantasized about working for them. The fact that I’d hacked my records into their system was a minor technicality. My job was to manage the uniforms during the moon trek, and as long as I did my job and avoided ship security, my fantasy would become a reality. But this was bigger than managing uniforms. Regardless of the risks to me, I had to contact the bridge. 

I could send a general message over the staff communication network. I stepped away from the pile of spilled uniforms and shifted to the computer that sat above the console in the middle of the room. It was standard issue, a flat black folio with colorful buttons and a low-definition screen. Only the top members of the ship and paying passengers were given high-def equipment. For the rest of us, it was the bare minimum, Moon Unit Corporation’s way of making sure distractions didn’t surround us. To the right side of the computer was a clear plastic dome that protected a shiny red button that, despite learning about during emergency protocol training, I’d hoped never to have to use. 

This was a button message.

I flipped the dome up and pressed the button. “Uniform Ward to the bridge. Lieutenant Sylvia Stryker reporting. There’s a situation in my ward.”

“What kind of situation?” asked a female voice. It sounded like my immediate supervisor, Yeoman D’Nar. There was no official reason for her to be on the bridge during departure, but senior officers of the ship were given an open invitation to witness the launch with Captain Swift. D’Nar was exactly the type to insert herself where she wasn’t wanted. 

“I’m pretty sure it’s a Code Blue.” Pretty sure? I was completely sure. There was no doubt I was looking at a Code Blue. 

“Don’t be reckless. A Code Blue is serious. I think you made a mistake.”

I bristled at her accusation but kept my voice in check. “It’s not a mistake. I memorized the codes last night.”

“I don’t think you have a Code Blue. Check the BOP and report in as applicable.” 

The BOP—Book of Protocols—was a 237-page manual that outlined the proper method for handling everything from hydrating vacuum-packed meals to subordination expectations between low-level officers and high-ranking ones. Every ship in the galaxy had a BOP. Crew members were expected to know the rules and regulations of the ship, but the BOP existed as a backup when something unexpected happened. 

I picked up a small hand mirror from the nearby uniform alterations station and held it in front of the officer’s mouth. No condensation. 

Code Blue, alright. 

I hadn’t been lying about having memorized the list of codes from the BOP. I’d bought a used copy of an old Book of Protocols from the black market and studied it from cover to cover. No doubt it was outdated. The Moon Units 1-3 had had their share of trouble, and the problems with the Moon Unit 4 were still classified, but I had to start somewhere. 

I flipped through the pages of the Moon Unit 5 BOP, looking for an updated list of warning codes. Because my knowledge had come from the old BOP, I’d created a finding tool: a cross-reference of everything in the old manual and where to find it in the new one. I’d also had a copy of the BOP made and organized it the way I would if I were in charge of ship security. 

Someday, I would be. When people stopped judging me by what my dad had done before they arrested him and took him away. 

But today wasn’t someday, and even though the bridge blew off my call, I still had a problem that had nothing to do with uniform management. 

I studied the deceased officer. Who was he? A quick assessment of his uniform indicated his position and rank: red shirt, two bands circling his cuff, standard issue black pants, and gravity boots. Second navigation officer of Moon Unit 5. 

There were no visible wounds to indicate how he’d died. He wasn’t wearing an air purification helmet like I was, so I disconnected my inhalation tube from the oxygen tank under my uniform, held the tube in front of his mouth, and sniffed. Cherries and menthol. I reconnected the tube and then put my hand under his chin and opened his mouth wide. His tongue had a stripe of bright red down the middle like he’d been sucking on a throat lozenge. It was common practice among crew members during takeoff because frequent swallowing kept ears from plugging up. 

“What are you doing?” said a voice behind me. I turned my head and bumped my protective fiberglass bubble helmet on the closet door. My helmet bounced off the surface. I blinked a few times and then looked up. 

Uh-oh.

Even if I’d been face to face with the man in the uniform ward, he would have towered over me. He had a bald head and dark, pointed eyebrows that shielded dark eyes. Long, straight nose and lips that were drawn in a line and turned down on the sides. His arms crossed in front of his body, and his biceps bulged below the hem of the short sleeves of his dark blue jumpsuit. 

My mind flashed over a series of facts and images I’d memorized before my official first day, and I reached one conclusion. This man was from the maintenance crew. My know-it-all boss must have told him I called in the wrong code and sent him here to clean up whatever mess I’d caused. 

“I’m Sylvia Stryker. I spoke with Yeoman D’Nar about a Code Blue. Did she send you?”

He looked over my shoulder at the body. “Move,” he said. 

I stood quickly. The action triggered a bout of vertigo. I put my hand on my counter just behind where I’d left the open Book of Protocols. Yikes! If this guy saw that I’d torn apart and rearranged the protocol manual, he’d report me to ship security without a second thought. I moved a few inches to the left and turned around to block his view of the counter. 

“They must have notified you. You’re with maintenance, right?”

His expression didn’t change. “I haven’t heard anything about a Code Blue.”

“Oh.” I looked over my shoulder to where I’d moved the body. “Maybe the bridge was busy with takeoff.”

Unlike my uniform, the muscular man’s didn’t have the Moon Unit insignia—a silver number 5 surrounded by circles on their axis like the rings around Saturn, all contained in an orange patch edged in black thread. It was the same insignia on my ID card and woven into the carpet in the employee lounge and on the cover of the BOP and every single uniform in the inventory closet. But it wasn’t on him. 

Still, the deceased officer deserved to be in a more honorable location than the inventory closet and I needed help moving him. But since there was the tiniest chance that ship security would uncover the fact that I hadn’t indeed been hired through proper channels and might be viewed as a stowaway on board the ship, I’d planned to lay low until we’d cleared the breakaway point in our moon trek. Maybe Yeoman D’Nar’s lack of urgency was a blessing in disguise.

“He’s dead,” I said. 

“How?”

“I don’t know. He was inside the uniform closet when I got here. I checked for a pulse but couldn’t find it.” 

“You need to notify the bridge.”

“Well, duh,” I said. “I probably know the ship protocols better than you do. I contacted the bridge and told Yeoman D’Nar I had a Code Blue, but she didn’t believe me.” I looked at the body over the large man’s shoulder. “Can you help me move him? I have to prep for departure, and I can’t do that while he’s blocking my inventory.”

The man’s back was to me, but he turned his head to the side so I could see his profile. His eyebrow raised again. He slipped his arms under the officer’s neck and knees and then stood up and lifted him like he was lifting a bag of potatoes. Plunia was filled with potato farms, and when I wasn’t working in the ice mines with my mom, I’d often played in the potato fields. I was pretty sure Plunian potatoes weighed a lot less than the second nav officer. 

The maintenance man set the body on the reclining bench alongside the inside wall of the uniform ward. He draped a dressing gown over him, covering his face and red shirt. The dressing gown was only so long, though, so the officer’s bottom half still showed. 

“Your ward is off limits,” the maintenance man said. 

“No!” I said. “I mean, this is my job on the ship. I expect today to be slow because everybody is probably wearing their best uniform, but still, if I don’t open the uniform ward, the crew will ask questions.”

“Do you have something to hide?” he asked.

I crossed my arms over my magenta uniform. “You ask a lot of questions for a janitor.”

He seemed surprised, and then his lips pressed together, and the corners of his mouth turned up. “Why do you think I’m the janitor?”

“I don’t recognize your uniform, and I know all the different ones on the ship. The only people on the ship wearing uniforms that don’t come from my ward are the janitorial crew.”

The cabin doors swished open and a man in gray walked in. “Neptune, Captain Swift is waiting for you in engineering. He says the crack isn’t sealed.”

“Neptune?” I asked. I looked back and forth between the new guy and the one who’d been asking all the questions. “I thought Neptune was the head of Moon Unit security division?”

“I am,” the original man said. 

Oh, no. I’d heard about Neptune. He was the one person I’d been hoping to avoid.


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For fans of Star Trek, Star Wars, Dune, UFO, The Orville, Galaxy Quest, Lost in Space, and The Jetsons...who also like Hallmark Mysteries.


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Diane-Fans describe “her vintage Vallere goodness,” and say she is a “great storyteller” with “a way with creating strong female characters and intrigue” who is “a superb and very humorous writer.” Her gift of creating “spunky sleuths in fun settings” take readers to Dallas, Palm Springs, Los Angeles, Pennsylvania, and outer space.

Ratings and reviews

4.4
31 reviews
Barbara Hackel
July 10, 2022
Fascinated by the author's ideas of life throughout the solar system, the names & characteristics of the different types of creatures were fun: little green Martians, earthlings, Plunians like Stryker with violet skin & different gaseous needs for breathing. Her brilliance separated her from other Plunian potato or ice farmers. I can't recommend this book enough to readers of any age or sex. It's a murder mystery, spy story, and futuristic science fiction. Pure genius and entertaining!
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Richard Goodman
July 11, 2022
Once I was done with the book, which I read all of in the same day, not what I normally do, I marveled that Diane Vallere succeeding at most everything she attempted in this new alternative cozy genre. She strapped on her moon boots and conquered this new alien terrain with thoughtfulness, intelligence and a sense of fun and adventure. I’m hoping this is the start of a new series because there were so many fun things about this book that I want to see how things turn out in subsequent stories.
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Shawna Gregg
July 10, 2022
I found myself quickly pulled in and pacing the corridors (and security cells) alongside Sylvia, trying to work out who the guilty party was: could it be her cranky & disapproving boss, the by-the-book head of security, or possibly the sweet Gremlon stowaway? When anyone else would just hunker down and contemplate saving their own skins, Sylvia boldly strides in to save the day. My Trek loving husband saw me enjoying the book & wanted his turn to read! A delightful new niche for cosy mysteries!
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About the author

National bestselling author Diane Vallere crafts funny and fashionable mysteries that are truly out of this world. After two decades navigating the galaxy of luxury retailing, she swapped designer accessories for accessories to murder, propelling her career into the stratosphere. As past president of the national Sisters in Crime organization, she edited the Agatha-Award-winning essay collection PROMOPHOBIA: Taking the Mystery out of Promoting Crime Fiction, rocketing the conversation about marketing crime fiction to new heights. Diane launched her own detective agency at the age of ten, and her passion for shoes, clues, and clothes has been in orbit ever since. Prepare to embark on a stellar adventure with her captivating, character-based mysteries!

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