· How to identify the monster
· Who’s going to help you kill it
· Your arsenal and where to keep it (kitchen, bathroom, living room, garage, etc.).
· Behavior of the monster while you’re trying to kill it
· Disposing of the body
· Monster powers
· Monster weaknesses
· How to avoid the monster
“How to Kill Monsters Using Common Household Items” is a must have home defense guide for the do-it-yourself slayer. After using this book, you too can understand that setting gnomes on fire with a Bic lighter and a can of Aqua Net is funny.
Jason Offutt has been a newspaper reporter, magazine editor, sports photographer, bartender, farmhand, and the mayor of a Midwest small town. He teaches college journalism in Northwest Missouri where he keeps the world safe from the forces of evil. His books include the novel “A Funeral Story,” and the nonfiction titles, “Haunted Missouri,” “Darkness Walks: The shadow people among us,” “What Lurks Beyond: The paranormal in your backyard,” “Paranormal Missouri,” and “Across A Corn-Swept Land: An epic beer run through the Upper Midwest.”
A parody of the wildly popular Fifty Shades of Grey trilogy, Fifty Ways to Slay tells a twisted love story that proves no matter what your background, we can all be seduced by the dark side.
Essential reading for anyone who loves wine, cheese, Paris and love – which is to say everyone – Franglais is the key to understanding our French cousins (et vice versa, pour le French who love rosbif, warm biere, et Birmingham). Franglais continues its marche de strength à strength. Pour beaucoup de gens c’est maintenant un way de vie.
‘A true comic genius’ Ian Hislop
‘Ridiculously funny’ Joanna Lumley
‘What a truly gifted, consistently funny writer’ Maureen Lipman
‘Utterly charming and extremely funny’ Independent
Miles Kington was one of Britain’s most renowned and best loved journalists. Born in County Down, he grew up in Wales and was educated in Scotland, which was all a big mistake as he was actually English. A presenter, playwright, polymath and wit, he wrote columns for The Times, the Independent, Punch and The Oldie. His other acclaimed titles include Someone Like Me, How Shall I Tell the Dog? and The Franglais Lieutenant’s Woman.