A Pair of Nuts on the Throne

Robot vs Dragons

Book 3
Bowman Press
This book will become available on October 31, 2018. You will not be charged until it is released.

Ahh, the Old Kingdom.

Come and admire our angry dragons close up. Take a dip with mighty sea serpents in our warm seas. Play catch-the-arrow with merry elven warriors. Drink beer* with the dwarves.

For an unforgettable experience, the Old Kingdom is the ideal destination for your next holiday**

Survival is optional, and highly unlikely.

*Similarity to actual beer not guaranteed.

**Travel insurance not available.

***This is what three asterisks look like when you put them in a row.

A Pair of Nuts on the Throne is book three in the Robot vs Dragons series. To maximise your enjoyment, this description is completely devoid of spoilers, or indeed, useful information of any kind.****

****Trust me, if you've read the first two books you know what you're getting, and if you haven't you're on the wrong product page.

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Additional Information

Publisher
Bowman Press
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Published on
Oct 31, 2018
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Pages
270
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Language
English
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Genres
Fiction / Fantasy / Humorous
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Content Protection
This content is DRM protected.
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Read Aloud
Available on Android devices
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Eligible for Family Library

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Get three books in one! Set in the distant future, where humanity spans the galaxy and robots are second-class citizens, Hal Spacejock will strike a chord with fans of Red Dwarf and Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy, while simultaneously forging its own wacky, off-beat path through the cosmos.

Hal Spacejock Omnibus One contains the first three books in the Hal Spacejock series (A Robot Named Clunk, Second Course, and Just Desserts) PLUS a bonus short story: Hal Spacejock Visit.

Hal Spacejock 1: A Robot Named Clunk Clunk's grateful when his boss sends him off for a refit, because old robots are usually junked instead.

Since the upgrade centre is on the next planet, Clunk's asked to perform a trivial little task while he's there: help a freelancer pick up some cargo.

It's a simple job, straight in and out ... but don't be late.

How can he refuse? Clunk's a certified co-pilot, so landing in a deserted field under cover of darkness, avoiding customs ships, orbital lasers and trigger-happy warships along the way, is not a problem.

Unfortunately the freelance pilot is a much bigger challenge, because Hal Spacejock is obstinate, over-confident, and woefully under-skilled, and yet he refuses to cede control of his ship to a mere robot.

Worse, Hal's only got 24 hours to pay off his debts, or he'll lose his ship ... and his life.

Can the two of them sort out their differences and deliver the cargo, or will they still be wrestling over the controls when both deadlines expire?

A Robot Named Clunk is one part buddy movie, two parts laughter and three parts madcap adventure.

Hal Spacejock 2: Second Course Hal Spacejock’s cargo business is going so well he’s considering getting into passengers ... especially the beautiful and mysterious Sonya Polarov.
Meanwhile, Rex Curtis runs the galaxy’s biggest freight company, and he’s sick of independent pilots stealing his cargo jobs. He’s determined to make a statement by destroying the biggest nuisance of them all: Hal Spacejock. And all he has to do is ensure Hal’s latest cargo job ends in disaster.
Unaware of the threat and distracted by Sonya, Hal’s time-sensitive cargo sits aboard his ship while the deadline looms ever closer. If he doesn’t get a move on, the late fees will ruin him ... and cost him his life into the bargain.

Hal Spacejock 3: Just Desserts Cargo pilot Hal Spacejock has a problem: his hold is stuffed full of expensive food, and the cheap freezer equipment he bought from Bent Jimmy has just failed ... exactly as Clunk predicted.
Hal needs replacement parts before his cargo rots, and he's forced to abandon his precious ship at the spaceport to go looking for them. Which is a pity, because an secret agent has just decided Hal's ship is ideal for an urgent mission.
Can Hal find the new parts and return before it's too late, or will he lose his ship, his cargo and his livelihood ... again?

Hal Spacejock Visit Hal returns to his ship after a shopping expedition and finds Clunk in a right old state. Break out the crayons and colouring sheets ... they're booked in for a school visit!

Omnibus Two, containing Hal Spacejock books 4-6, is also available.
There is a distinct hint of Armageddon in the air. According to The Nice and Accurate Prophecies of Agnes Nutter, Witch (recorded, thankfully, in 1655, before she blew up her entire village and all its inhabitants, who had gathered to watch her burn), the world will end on a Saturday. Next Saturday, in fact. So the armies of Good and Evil are amassing, the Four Bikers of the Apocalypse are revving up their mighty hogs and hitting the road, and the world's last two remaining witch-finders are getting ready to fight the good fight, armed with awkwardly antiquated instructions and stick pins. Atlantis is rising, frogs are falling, tempers are flaring. . . . Right. Everything appears to be going according to Divine Plan.

Except that a somewhat fussy angel and a fast-living demon -- each of whom has lived among Earth's mortals for many millennia and has grown rather fond of the lifestyle -- are not particularly looking forward to the coming Rapture. If Crowley and Aziraphale are going to stop it from happening, they've got to find and kill the Antichrist (which is a shame, as he's a really nice kid). There's just one glitch: someone seems to have misplaced him. . . .

First published in 1990, Neil Gaiman and Terry Pratchett's brilliantly dark and screamingly funny take on humankind's final judgment is back -- and just in time -- in a new hardcover edition (which includes an introduction by the authors, comments by each about the other, and answers to some still-burning questions about their wildly popular collaborative effort) that the devout and the damned alike will surely cherish until the end of all things.

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