Come and admire our angry dragons close up. Take a dip with mighty sea serpents in our warm seas. Play catch-the-arrow with merry elven warriors. Drink beer* with the dwarves.
For an unforgettable experience, the Old Kingdom is the ideal destination for your next holiday**
Survival is optional, and highly unlikely.
*Similarity to actual beer not guaranteed.
**Travel insurance not available.
***This is what three asterisks look like when you put them in a row.
A Pair of Nuts on the Throne is book three in the Robot vs Dragons series. To maximise your enjoyment, this description is completely devoid of spoilers, or indeed, useful information of any kind.****
****Trust me, if you've read the first two books you know what you're getting, and if you haven't you're on the wrong product page.
Into this shaky impasse steps the mechanical man, impervious to crude weapons, magic, suspicious wedding feasts, poisoned wine, and fire of any colour, be it wild, angry or just slightly annoyed.
Each House stakes their claim to the mechanical marvel, convinced the mysterious creature will lead them to a crushing victory against the others once they teach it to fly. And breathe fire. And, you know, ignore the Three Laws.
It's just a pity none of them thought to ask the robot what it wants.
Features Clunk - the beloved robot from the Hal Spacejock series - as well as the oddball protagonists from The Desolator and Thonn!
This is the first novel in a three book series. Each book in the series continues plot lines and character arcs from the previous title, with everything wrapping up in book three.
Except that a somewhat fussy angel and a fast-living demon -- each of whom has lived among Earth's mortals for many millennia and has grown rather fond of the lifestyle -- are not particularly looking forward to the coming Rapture. If Crowley and Aziraphale are going to stop it from happening, they've got to find and kill the Antichrist (which is a shame, as he's a really nice kid). There's just one glitch: someone seems to have misplaced him. . . .
First published in 1990, Neil Gaiman and Terry Pratchett's brilliantly dark and screamingly funny take on humankind's final judgment is back -- and just in time -- in a new hardcover edition (which includes an introduction by the authors, comments by each about the other, and answers to some still-burning questions about their wildly popular collaborative effort) that the devout and the damned alike will surely cherish until the end of all things.
Laugh as your favourite characters spit in the face of danger ... then run for the hills.
Admire the verbal jousting and witty wordplay ... or is it the other way round?
Gasp as kings and queens lose their heads.
'Enjoy' the groanworthy puns and suffer the slings and arrows of poorly-trained archers.
But wait, there's more ...
Prepare to be amazed as you learn exactly what Clunk's building in his makeshift workshop!
This novel is a sequel to A Portion of Dragon and Chips, which must be read first to maximise your enjoyment and my royalties.
Clunk's grateful when his boss sends him off for a refit, because old robots are usually junked. So what's the catch?
The workshop is on the next planet, and Clunk must carry out a trivial little task while he's there: help a freelancer pick up some cargo.
It's a simple job, straight in and out ... but don't be late.
Clunk's a certified co-pilot, so landing in a deserted field under cover of darkness, avoiding customs ships, orbital lasers and trigger-happy warships along the way, is not a problem.
Unfortunately the freelance pilot is a much bigger challenge, because Hal Spacejock is obstinate, over-confident, and woefully under-skilled, and yet he refuses to cede control of his ship to a mere robot.
Worse, Hal's got 24 hours to pay off his debts or he'll lose his ship ... and his life.
Can the two of them sort out their differences and deliver the cargo, or will they still be wrestling over the controls when both deadlines expire?
A Robot Named Clunk is one part buddy movie, two parts laughter and three parts madcap adventure.
This is a free ebook.
Hal Spacejock books 2-8 are also available on Google Play Books.