Look Me in the Eye: My Life with Asperger's

John Elder Robison

Sep 2007 · Sold by Crown

About this ebook

NEW YORK TIMES BESTSELLER • “As sweet and funny and sad and true and heartfelt a memoir as one could find.” —from the foreword by Augusten Burroughs

Ever since he was young, John Robison longed to connect with other people, but by the time he was a teenager, his odd habits—an inclination to blurt out non sequiturs, avoid eye contact, dismantle radios, and dig five-foot holes (and stick his younger brother, Augusten Burroughs, in them)—had earned him the label “social deviant.” It was not until he was forty that he was diagnosed with a form of autism called Asperger’s syndrome. That understanding transformed the way he saw himself—and the world. A born storyteller, Robison has written a moving, darkly funny memoir about a life that has taken him from developing exploding guitars for KISS to building a family of his own. It’s a strange, sly, indelible account—sometimes alien yet always deeply human.

Ratings and reviews

When I found out that my son might have Asperger's, my wife found this book. I have to say that I will never tell my son to look me in the eyes again. It is very informative to hear how the authors thought process works to try to deal with my son and help him avoid all the problems the author lived through. The middle part of the book is the story of his life, but the beginning of the book deals more with the syndrome.

Robinson's autobiography offers a look into his past as a young boy growing up with undiagnosed Asperger's Syndrome, a high-functioning form of autism. Readers are introduced to John Elder and encouraged to make their own judgments about his quirkiness and behaviors, which would lend itself perfectly to discussion on individuals with disabilities. For mature audiences, this read can open up a conversation about the rights of individuals with disabilities and how they are currently viewed in our society.

John Elder Robison didn’t learn about Asperger’s Syndrome until around age 40. I was in my late 40s when I heard about it because of a family member but also concerning myself. It affects social interaction and communication skills. It sometimes includes physical clumsiness or things like increased sensitivity to certain stimuli like loud noises, scratchy clothing labels, or the greasy feel of soaps and hygienic products. It may prevent a person from displaying appropriate emotions (not that the emotions aren’t there, but that they may not show in the ways most people expect). The person may have difficulty reading others’ feelings and knowing how to respond properly. They particularly have trouble looking into a person’s eyes, hence the title of this book. John Robison always wanted to connect with other people, but his attempts were always rebuffed. By the time he was a teenager, he was considered to be a "social deviant." He would answer questions with something that was totally unrelated, though of interest to him. He avoided eye contact. He loved to take things apart, especially electronics, and experiment to see how the various parts worked and what tweaks here and there would do. He loved playing tricks and some of them were fairly thoughtless. He also grew up in a home that was becoming more and more dysfunctional, with a father becoming abusive and alcoholic and a mother starting to lose touch with reality. He dropped out of high school at age 15 and left home at 16. He had many different adventures from camping out with a survivalist in the forest and playing with a band, but really got recognized by playing around with guitar amps to improve their sound. He ended up making a name repairing and improving sound systems, working in a disco, then with Pink Floyd’s sound engineers in the US (who also provided the systems for other bands as well), and then developing the fire-breathing and exploding guitars for KISS. He eventually married, got a job for Milton Bradley developing their first electronic toys, entered the corporate world, and finally started his own business repairing, restoring, and selling luxury imported cars like Land Rovers and Bentleys. All of this without graduating from high school. When he discovered that there was a name to his “strangeness,” he began to think differently of himself. There was a reason that he was like he was and there were others like him, others who had also been successful. His story is certainly interesting. I mean, he worked on the sound systems for Pink Floyd and traveled with KISS! (And, he did so while staying away from the drugs, alcohol and sex orgies!) But, on the other hand, the way he writes comes across as a little, maybe mechanical, almost robotic. Maybe that’s a little extreme, but it’s just an impression. You would think that any story about such an adventurous life would have you on the edge of your seat, but he made it sound so normal, so “average.” However, it is no surprise for someone with Asperger’s so it also fits. I found that it really hit close to home and could easily identify with the book (not the rock star life part, of course). If you know someone with Asperger’s, this may help you understand them a lot better. If you are on the spectrum, maybe it will be encouraging. If you just want to understand more about the broad range of people who occupy our world, this is also good. If you just like a really good story, you’ll like this one also.

About the author

JOHN ELDER ROBISON is the New York Times bestselling author of Look Me in the Eye, Be Different and Raising Cubby. He lectures widely on autism and neurological differences, and is a member of the Interagency Autism Coordinating Committee of the US Dept. of Health and Human Services. John also serves on committees and review boards for the CDC and the National Institutes of Health. A machinery enthusiast and avid photographer, John lives in Amherst, Massachusetts with his family, animals, and machines.