Spiritual essays

I’ve wrote a lot about … defining … and its importance so that we could have a beautiful existence.

In fact i do believe … and that’s my main message that analysing and defining with honesty all we like and dislike … we could reach a point when we could actually redefine our lives … into a better way.

And this theory could be available into any of the areas of our lives.

In our careers, with our friends … and even into a love story.

The only real problem is that in koi to one point …. defining and defining and defining too much … we come into a point when we actually look like people … which are non stop complaining.

Yes … somehow all looks a lot with a … concert of complains.

And we actually …. ruin all.

One of the 2 partners will simple say … “I had enough … “.

Today … i smile cause i’ve been into this position … on both sides … in many of the relationships i’ve been involved in.

In business… in love … and any other area.

So … all becoming ridiculous… we come now into the position of asking … what the hell we do … to be able to improve the connection without destroying it?!

When is the best moment when we need to stop doing that?!

Why we try to define on and on and on things which cannot be improved?!

Can we actually accept that the relationship has its own limits?!

Can we avoid being ridiculous… clearly being defined of our partners into that way?!

Can we improve a relationship without a deep analysis and define with honesty all?!

In fact my list of questions is even much, much longer … but into the end we need to somehow conclude … so …

Most probably … all we define is about the dirty energies which we discover while interacting …. but we are never aware of the fact that all is maybe …. a reflection.

Yes … a reflection.

One that becomes clear while in deep connections… but we are not able to become aware of the fact that all we don’t like into the relationship… are parts of us that needs to be redefined.

We should firstly analyse and define ourselves… and keep in mind that into a mirror we won’t be able to change the reflection…. unless we change.

And …. It’s so damn simple …

But .. what is funny …. is that even if we understand the theoretical concepts… on the stage of reality … we forget about all.

So … we just complain.

We don’t like that … or that …. or that etc etc…

All looks indeed like a pathetic concert of illusory complains … which into the end simple ruins … the relationship itself.

On and on …. and on.

I had times into my life ... when all was collapsing around myself.

All ... all ...

I could not believe it.

I was living ... a non ending nightmare.

I was waking up ... and first thing i was doing was to ask myself ... what the hell is going to happen to me again.

Bottomline ... it was horrible.

And ... i could not stand it anymore.

But ... unfortunately... i could not stop those ugly energetic waves around myself.

I was meditating ... asking myself ... why?!

I was even praying ... saying ... "God ... stop it! Please .... I beg you!".

I felt ... annoyed, frustrated ... and even cursed ... but i could not see any way out of this.

I was in fact trapped ... into a storm of ugly energies... which were ruining my soul.

On ... and on ... and on.

So ... i've started to feel that i hate God for what was doing to me ... but i could not accept that all was actually a karmic storm ... having the purpose to remind me of all the stupid things i've done into my past.

Today ... i see a friend of mine living such a scenario.

He's ... actually... not a real friend... but we have a good connection.

I see him .... living a similar scenario with what happened to me.

His businesses are collapsing.

He has huge legal problems.

He even lives with the impression that he is under the observation of the secret services.

All his life ... it's a nightmare.

But i also know his past and all the stupid things he had been done.

Which in fact ... are very similar with the mistakes ... i've done.

Today ... he's annoyed, frustrated ... and feel cursed.

Same as i've felt.

He cannot handle anymore ...

And ... i also see at him ... a very weird thing i was thinking too into my tough times.

He believes .... he was a good actor on the stage of life ... and even a positive character.

Seeing all like a total nonsense... instead of understanding deeper his past ... i believe that ... speaking with the Universe he asks ... "Why are you doing this to me God?! Why?! Why this charade?!"

But ... all it's actually a karmic charade.

A flux of extremely powerful energies ... looking like ugly events having the only purpose to destroy him.

I look at him ... and i smile.

I continue listening to him ... and i laugh.

And ... you might say that i am a bad person ... laughing of my friend.

Or ... that i am even ... evil.

But ... i am laughing... not of him .... but of me.

Today ... i see in his story ... my own story ... and the way i was playing into those times.

I ... somehow ... start to understand the meaning of a karmic storm.

And i also understand their whole meaning.

Yes .... those powerful ugly energies ... destroy us ... but not the soul, as we might believe.

No ....

All it's actually destroying ... that ugly character i was interpreting.

... and my friend was interpreting.

And ... we hated the Universe for that ... defining the karmic storm ... as a curse.

But ... it was a blessing.

So ... i continue laughing of my friend ... laughing in fact ... of how idiot i could be.

Cause ... i really thought ... the Infinite Intelligence ... lost its compass ... but us the humans were in fact doing that ... consciously and unconsciously .... by such a long, long time.

But … you see … there are so, so many moments in life when the life itself just… sucks … and we ask ourselves … what the hell have i done that i deserve that?!

And that was the moment when the karmic idea came into my mind … starting to believe that all the lessons of life, sometimes very difficult to handle … could be defined as karmic.

All those abstract situations … which totally annoy us … and make our lives miserable… are repeating on and on and on.

Believing we are the victims of circumstances … everything it’s never the way we want to be … or even worst.

The funny thing that i tried all the time when i was in those weird abstract stories, having the impression that it was the end of the world … i was repeating to myself “It’s all an illusion … and it’s not what it looks like”.

My karmic stories … being in fact my stories … and feeling them in such a powerful way … were …

Well … don’t even know how to define them, but all i wanted was to get out of those situations and also get rid of the karmic people that i hated so much.

And i tried everything … and nothing worked expect smiling … or even laughing in front of those illusions.

Deciding to call them … simple … illusions … was probably the best idea i could come with.

But the karmic illusions … were powerful messages i had to understand … and i was pretending i could not see behind the abstract.

I actually love the abstract, but not when it was part of my life.

It was all related with the concept of understanding the meaning of life … and even if i spent lots of time meditating over the subject … when i was on the scene of the real life, i was acting like a football player that studied all the strategies had been ever written about this sport … but … never practiced and in fact never tried to practice it in a good way.

So … even if i knew theory … i acted like someone that never heard about spirituality … or about the forces behind reality.

In fact …. in the real life, in so, so many karmic moments … i acted like an … idiot.

I knew that all i had to do was just to smile in front of those illusory situations … cause there is no other way of fighting.

But guess what?!

Each time … i was failing.

The only progress i made over the years … was that after a while … meditating over what happened … i somehow understood what … illusory … meant.

…. that i had to react in a different way.

… that was not what it looked like and the lesson of life had to be seen, understood deeper and deeper.

But again … theory was so easy and i was failing tests all the time.

On and on and on …

I was such an idiot not applying all what i knew about life … on the scene of my own life.

… and i was paying the price … of living a … miserable life …

Everyday something happened and i was fucking my vibe … not realizing there were tests given to me by the Universe.

Life was beautiful … and i thought it’s so … ugly.

Hahaha … such a silly perspective.

Well … it was all a decision of … changing my perceptions … and realizing that anything it could happen it was all a decision of the Divine Intelligence … God … Allah … or however we could name that entity that is everything it exists …. and it was all for our good.

The fact that the karmic situations were repeated … was because i was not passing the tests … and i really had to pass those tests.

It was all about … my awakening … and i had to start the … process.

Karmic energies are real … even if we believe it or not … and it’s not easy to get rid of them.

But we could start to accept that …. as part of life … and also as a spiritual journey … which we need to follow into this Universe.

It might not make sense at all … but … the real truth is always revealed later …

Today i believe that the meaning of life is to experience it ... and to understand from all those experiences what is all about.

All it looks bad ... ugly ... related almost with the Devil ... are actually episodes that teach us powerful messages that we could simple define as ... lessons of life.

But what if all those episodes keep appearing all the time ... on and on and on?!

What if everything looks so damm negative in what we name life ... that you could almost say that Devil is always present on your timeline?!

Is it anything we could do?!

Is it enough to go to the church and blame the Devil?!

But maybe the Devils are the people from your life ... the ones that you decided to spend your life with.

... or even worst ... the Devil is ... YOU.

You see ... going back in time, if we should analyze the concepts of the evil and also the one with the devil ... we should see that it’s all about abstract concepts ... and that the Devil itself is not a person, but the way we act in an evil way ... in certain moments of life.

We just mix all those concepts and created the image of a powerful entity that we believe it can dominates us is a very, very ugly way ... but maybe is time to redefine that concept.

We all know that we have a dark, but also a beautiful side ... and many times we know to control both sides ... but not always.

We have a frequency that we use in life ... and that can be positive or negative ... without realizing that it is all a decision ... how we act in any of the episodes of life.

The auto protective mode lets us believe that ... just for our protection we can act in any way we think at that moment ... but later on ... by analyzing and defining the past ... we realize we did not know how to act properly on the stage of our own lives.

The yin and yang concept, which also is an abstract one ... is letting us know that negativity can be in harmony ... just near positivity.

The meaning of our reactions, especially in ugly situations ... defines us ... what kind of humans we really are.

Answering in a negative way ... to negative events ... looks almost natural ... but actually means not following the path of harmony ... which is the best path to follow.

Is like a virus.

We meet the Devil and we become ... devils.

But again ... i mention that the weird concept about the Devil is so damm old, that we actually don’t understand that it is all about our decision of following bad intentions that we have in mind or in the soul.

Abstract.

Too abstract ... in fact.

But the Devil ... or the negative energies that defines the energetic field where we live in ... will not disappear ... unless we understand the lesson of life ... the message behind the message.

It could also be named ... the illusion, so well hidden under the illusion of the self.

But we continue life for years ... following lots or pathless paths ... going to the left and to the right ... not having any direction at all ... and that is only cause we don’t understand the concept of ... the evil and its necessity for a while.

... and seeing us so lost ... the Universe decides to smile again, by simple remembering us that same as we see a dark side, same we could see the positive side.

And ... all is just a simple decision.

Seeing in the Devil, which can be represented by the people we don’t like, or even by our worst enemies ... the teachers that let us know what are the real laws of the Universe ... should be a much better way of seeing life ... in a totally redefined way.

The ugly experiences ... reveal that we should appreciate more ... all we have in life ... and enjoy all simple beautiful things from the scene of life.

And the day when we accept and embrace all those elements generated by the evil ... it is actually the day when we will realize it is time for changing our focus and experience also to the beautiful side of life ... just to keep the right balance of yin and yang.

The Devil does not exists ... or if it exists ... the Devil is you ... with your emotions and thoughts ... but you can redefine everything.

... yes ... you have this right of redefining absolutely everything.

That is the day when you understand that the Devil is your friend ... the one that totally redefined your life ... showing you as a very good teacher ... what life is about.

You can embrace the Devil, which actually means to accept your dark side, as part of your experience of life ... cause all those episodes could guide you to the real path we should all follow ... the one of harmony.

Yes ... laugh if you want ... but indeed the Devil is your friend ... but is actually the friend of your Ego, that one that keeps you hostage into the illusion of the self ... till one day when you discover that your soul ... has better friends ... and you could simple change the ... gang.

Just think about it ... it’s all a simple theory ... but maybe you should meditate over it.

And all looks a lot with a … nice concentration camp.

Today … i see unhappiness everywhere.

At poor people … but also at people that have all what they ever wanted.

All look like prisoners into a weird prison … generated mainly by their thoughts.

Unhappiness… is not depression.

No…

Hell no …

This unhappiness i am talking about… is simple the result of the fact that happiness is not there.

Is not such a big suffer …. but people are conscious that life is not what they really wanted.

They simple are alive … and have a life.

And … it’s ridiculous that many have all they ever dreamed … but they still carry on their faces that ugly mask of … unhappiness.

I look at all those people around myself … but also at my own life … and i realise that it all looks like … we live in a reality looking more like a … concentration camp.

But this is a place … where we actually have all we ever wanted … except the fact that we had became … prisoners.

…. Of circumstances …. of connections with people we don’t really like … of lots of other things we can’t really accept into our lives.

Of course … we are in better position than the ones … suffering of depression… which are in fact living in realities … similar with the real prisons … but still we can’t express our wildness side.

We are not allowed to do it.

We simple have to respect lots of rules … that are ruing our chances to be happy.

This ugly concentration camp … drives us crazy … but we can’t get out from there.

And it looks like … we will most probably remained trapped in there … forever.

There is no real way out.

So … we don’t really live in a prison … but we are still prisoners … into a weird place … so similar with a concentration camp … except the fact that we have all we ever desired.

The paradox itself is that the Universe allowed us as all we wanted to become real … except the fact that we probably forgot to ask for the most important thing … happiness.

So … dominated by unhappiness… life keeps going … with no real hope …that something will really change.

We remain … there … not realising that being happy or unhappy can actually be a simple decision …

Or maybe i should say … staying in that concentration camp … or leaving is just a decision.

We could speak about … sadness, shame, helplessness, anger, vulnerability, embarrassment, disappointment, and frustration … and many other issues … which bring a negative impact on our lives.

After studying the people from the stage of my life, but also people which i never met in person … I’ve realized that many times the life itself … just sucks … because we allow to be connected and also be dominated… by lots of negative emotions.

We accept … into our souls … ugly energies … which have a huge impact on us … on short and long term.

And … we not even pay attention to those details.

We ignore … the impact.

We ignore that something which today looks so, so unimportant… sooner or later will have full control … on ourselves.

Yes … truth be told … we are ignorants.

We see this dance of contradictory emotions … that is actually controlling our lives … as normality.

We not even dare to think of such a concept as …. spiritual garbage.

But … you know why?!

Cause … everyone … let us believe that this is … normal.

And … yes … it’s normal to be surrounded… by garbage.

That …. this is part of life.

I smile in front of such perceptions.

Then … i laugh of myself.

I realize … how i’ve wasted my life … allowing myself to have inside myself an universe dominated … by negativity.

And … changing all … became … just … a decision … but i was too coward to accept this ugly concept of … spiritual garbage.

Even … if all was so, so obvious.

And it’s not that we suffer of an absence of intelligence… but because we don’t really have the ability to connect to the universe we are living in.

We don’t understand the people that are around us.

We can’t really understand their reactions …. their way of being … and in fact … almost nothing.

We live in here by so, so many years … but …

Well …. we don’t even understand ourselves either …

In times of calmness all looks ok … but the second a very little change appears in the parameters that define our lives … something is activated inside of us and we start to be dominated by energies … came from nowhere …

And we start to have all sorts of weird reactions.

All it’s clear … and we can see it’s not our … usual behaviour … or our usual personality… but it’s weird … observing all those new reactions.

We analyse … but can’t really understand what is going on.

It’s most probably… a hidden side of our personality… but even if we are conscious of everything… we can’t understand what is really going on.

… that’s maybe … the nice story … being conscious of some weird energies which are dominating our lives.

And i call it a nice story .. cause once we succeed to calm down … this side of our personality … fades little by little.

But many other energies are dominating our lives … and we are not even conscious of that.

We become into the end … totally dominated by those energies … acting like entities… defined only and only by their obsessions.

And we see so many examples like that near us ….

People dominate by … alcohol.

… or drugs.

… or the desire of eating … even if they lost control of their weight.

… or money.

… or sex …

… or work …

The list of obsessions is … infinite.

I look at the people from the stage of my life, but also at myself … and it’s like some little bosses are totally controlling life into one point.

I personally became conscious of it.

I know of their existence … and i’d love to define those weird entities that are dominating us … beyond the scene of reality.

Don’t know if i’ll succeed … but i’ll try …