Attached: The New Science of Adult Attachment and How It Can Help You Find--and Keep-- Love

Amir Levine · Rachel Heller

Dec 2010 · Sold by Penguin

About this ebook

“Over a decade after its publication, one book on dating has people firmly in its grip.”
—The New York Times

We already rely on science to tell us what to eat, when to exercise, and how long to sleep. Why not use science to help us improve our relationships? In this revolutionary book, psychiatrist and neuroscientist Dr. Amir Levine and Rachel Heller scientifically explain why some people seem to navigate relationships effortlessly, while others struggle.

Discover how an understanding of adult attachment—the most advanced relationship science in existence today—can help us find and sustain love. Pioneered by psychologist John Bowlby in the 1950s, the field of attachment posits that each of us behaves in relationships in one of three distinct ways:

   • Anxious people are often preoccupied with their relationships and tend to worry about their partner's ability to love them back.
   • Avoidant people equate intimacy with a loss of independence and constantly try to minimize closeness.
   • Secure people feel comfortable with intimacy and are usually warm and loving.

Attached guides readers in determining what attachment style they and their mate (or potential mate) follow, offering a road map for building stronger, more fulfilling connections with the people they love.

Ratings and reviews

The research is not quite deep and reading through this book feels like an absolute judgement, whether you are secure, avoidant, or anxious, while people may have more than one attachment style. However it is still helpful for those that just begin to learn about types of attachment and want to dive deeper into what kind of relationship you need.

Maybe I am old or jaded or otherwise not the target audience somehow. I learned only one thing: there are a lot more secure people in the population than any one category of insecure people. Ok, two things: there are almost as many insecure people total as there are secure people.

At first I thought I got the answer to all human relationships but in practise reality is so more complex nowadays. Attachment theory is just a theory. Maybe more relevant in the 90s when the research was done, before internet and social media came into existence.

About the author

AMIR LEVINE, M.D., is an associate professor of psychiatry and the director of the SecureLab at Columbia University. He is an adult, child, and adolescent psychiatrist and a neuroscientist. In his private practice, he supervises and trains therapists in novel attachment neuroscience–based treatments aimed at helping people become more secure. He sees individuals, couples, and families for consultation and treatment.
 
RACHEL S. F. HELLER, M.A., is a supervising psychologist who works both in the public sector and in private practice. She holds a master’s degree from Columbia University. In her work, she integrates attachment-based principles with cognitive behavioral therapy, acceptance and commitment therapy, and experiential-based approaches to help both children and adults.