Sometimes I just let my children fall asleep in front of the TV.
In a culture that idealizes motherhood, itโs scary to confess that, in your house, being a mother is beautiful and dirty and joyful and frustrating all at once. Admitting that itโs not easy doesnโt make you a bad mom; at least, it shouldnโt.
If I canโt survive my daughter as a toddler, how the hell am I going to get through the teenage years?
When Jill Smokler was first home with her small children, she thought her blog would be something to keep friends and family updated. To her surprise, she hit a chord in the hearts of mothers everywhere.
I end up doing my sonโs homework. Itโs wrong, but so much easier.
Total strangers were contributing their views on that strange reality called motherhood. As other women shared their stories, Jill realized she wasnโt alone in her feelings of exhaustion and imperfection.
My eighteen month old still canโt say โMommyโ but used the word โshitโ in perfect context.
But she sensed her readers were still holding back, so decided to start an anonymous confessional, a place where real moms could leave their most honest thoughts without fearing condemnation.
I pretend to be happy but I cry every night in the shower.
The reactions were amazing: some sad, some pee-in-your-pants funny, some brutally honest. But they were real, not a commercial glamorization.
I clock out of motherhood at 8 P.M. and hide in the basement with my laptop and a beer.
If youโre already a fan, lock the bathroom door on your whining kids, run a bubble bath, and settle in. If youโve not encountered Scary Mommy before, break out a glass of champagne as well, because youโll be toasting your initiation into a select club.
I know why some animals eat their young.
In chapters that cover husbands (The Biggest Baby of Them All) to homework (Didnโt I Already Graduate?), Confessions of a Scary Mommy combines all-new essays from Jill with the best of the anonymous confessions.
Sometimes I wish my son was still littleโthen I hear kids screaming at the store.
As Jill says, โWe like to paint motherhood as picture perfect. A newborn peacefully resting on his motherโs chest. A toddler taking tentative first steps into his motherโs loving arms. A mother fluffing her daughterโs prom dress. These moments are indeed miraculous and joyful; they can also be few and far between.โ Of course you adore your kids. Of course you would lay down your life for them. But be honest now: Have you ever wondered what possessed you to sign up for the job of motherhood?
STOP! DO NOT OPEN THIS BOOK UNTIL YOU RECITE THESE VOWS!
I shall remember that no mother is perfect and my children will thrive because, and sometimes even in spite, of me.
I shall not preach to a fellow mother who has not asked my opinion. Itโs none of my damn business.
I shall maintain a sense of humor about all things motherhood.