Duke Sucks: A Completely Even-Handed, Unbiased Investigation into the Most Evil Team on Planet Earth

Reed Tucker · Andy Bagwell

Jan 2012 · Macmillan + ORM

About this ebook

In the ranks of NCAA college basketball, Duke University is like something scraped off the bottom of a shoe. It's like a nasty virus you catch from a door handle at a public toilet.

No team in sports is as uniquely hated as those smug, entitled, floor-slapping, fist-pumping, insufferable Blue Devils. The loathing has almost reached the level of a religion. Christian Laettner is a punk. Amen. The Cameron Crazies are obnoxious. The Plumlees are worthless times three. Coach K is a jerk. Kumbaya.

The team is dogged by an intense hatred that no other team can match—and for good reason. Millions of hoops fans and March Madness aficionados around the world are not imagining things. Duke really is evil, and within the pages of Duke Sucks, Reed Tucker and Andy Bagwell show readers exactly why Duke deserves to be so detested. They bruise and batter the Blue Devils with fact after fact, story after story, statistic after statistic. They build an airtight case that could stand up in a court of law.

So sit back in your "I Hate Duke" t-shirt, and in true Duke fashion, force someone poorer than you to do your work as you crack open the ultimate guide to Duke suckitude.

Ratings and reviews

All I can say is wow...I know we fans have by far the most hated rivalry but wow. What sad, disgraced, ignominious degenerative kind of douche bags does it take to write such a book...The authors of this book really need to get a life and grow up...I understand how much one hates the other but this is a little above and beyond...

First, Duke fans complaining about obnoxiousness is like Kim Jong-Il complaining about human cruelty. Physician, heal thyself. Why do you think people hate Duke so much? Kentucky wins more, people don't hate Kentucky. People hate Duke because they are the most obnoxious, most pretentious, most douchey players and fanbase in America. And I will bet money that the Duke fans haven't read the entire book. "Jealous" they say. Yeah, that will show the world. The book is comedy, it is meant to be comedy, and it is meant to be over-the-top. It is well researched and sometimes objective. (I learned from the book that K's black hair is natural, no hair-color.) It is meant for the vast VAST majority of the world who hate Duke, except for New Jersey, the only place on earth Duke isn't hated. "Jealous", some say. Then why do people in other countries hate Duke? People who have no affiliation to college basketball? That isn't jealousy. I guess Duke fans are "the real victim", to quote Coach K. There is some reason why the world, except New Jersey, hates Duke. The book lists some legitimate reasons, some reasons put in there just to take a dig at Duke, and even exonerates Duke at times.

Even when we lose, we're still relevant, apparently. Just don't call me a privileged white boy (I grew up in a lower-middle-class family and was lucky to go to Duke thanks to generous grants from the Duke Endowment).

About the author

Reed Tucker is a staff features writer at the New York Post. He lives in Brooklyn, New York. Andy Bagwell is a former member of Selected Hilarity, one of the top college comedy acts in the nation. He lives in Cary, North Carolina. The two host the "Tar Heel Bred, Tar Heel Dead" podcast, an obsessive, occasionally humorous look at UNC basketball.