He's Just Not That Into You: The No-Excuses Truth to Understanding Guys

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He’s Just Not That Into You—based on a popular episode of Sex and the City—is tough love advice for otherwise smart women on how to tell when a guy just doesn’t like them enough, so they can stop wasting time making excuses for a dead-end relationship. It’s the best relationship advice you’ll ever receive.

For ages, women have come together over coffee, cocktails, or late-night phone chats to analyze the puzzling behavior of men.

He’s afraid to get hurt again.
Maybe he doesn’t want to ruin the friendship.
Maybe he’s intimidated by me.
He just got out of a relationship.


Greg Behrendt and Liz Tuccillo are here to say that—despite good intentions—you’re wasting your time. Men are not complicated, although they’d like you to think they are. And there are no mixed messages.

The truth may be, He’s just not that into you.

Unfortunately, guys are too terrified to ever directly tell a woman, “You're not the one.” But their actions absolutely show how they feel.

Reexamining familiar scenarios and classic mindsets that keep us in unsatisfying relationships, Behrendt and Tuccillo’s wise and wry understanding of the sexes spares women hours of waiting by the phone, obsessing over the details with sympathetic girlfriends, and hoping his mixed messages really mean, “I’m in love with you and want to be with you.”

He’s Just Not That Into You is provocative, hilarious, and, above all, intoxicatingly liberating. It deserves a place on every woman’s night table. It knows you’re a beautiful, smart, funny woman who deserves better. The next time you feel the need to start “figuring him out,” consider the glorious thought that maybe, He’s just not that into you. And then set yourself loose to go find the one who is.
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About the author

Comedian Greg Behrendt was a consultant for three consecutive seasons on Sex and the City. His acclaimed stand-up comedy has been seen on HBO, Comedy Central Presents..., The Tonight Show, Late Show with David Letterman, and Late Night with Conan O'Brien. He lives in Los Angeles with his wife and daughter.

Liz Tuccillo was an executive story editor of HBO's Emmy-winning Sex and the City and has also written for Off Broadway. She is currently living and dating in New York City.
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Additional Information

Publisher
Simon and Schuster
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Published on
Oct 7, 2004
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Pages
176
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ISBN
9781416905783
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Language
English
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Genres
Family & Relationships / Love & Romance
Humor / Topic / Men, Women & Relationships
Self-Help / Personal Growth / Happiness
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Content Protection
This content is DRM protected.
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Eligible for Family Library

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The #1 New York Times Bestseller

A hilarious, thoughtful, and in-depth exploration of the pleasures and perils of modern romance from Aziz Ansari, the star of Master of None and one of this generation’s sharpest comedic voices

At some point, every one of us embarks on a journey to find love. We meet people, date, get into and out of relationships, all with the hope of finding someone with whom we share a deep connection. This seems standard now, but it’s wildly different from what people did even just decades ago. Single people today have more romantic options than at any point in human history. With technology, our abilities to connect with and sort through these options are staggering. So why are so many people frustrated?

Some of our problems are unique to our time. “Why did this guy just text me an emoji of a pizza?” “Should I go out with this girl even though she listed Combos as one of her favorite snack foods? Combos?!” “My girlfriend just got a message from some dude named Nathan. Who’s Nathan? Did he just send her a photo of his penis? Should I check just to be sure?” 

But the transformation of our romantic lives can’t be explained by technology alone. In a short period of time, the whole culture of finding love has changed dramatically. A few decades ago, people would find a decent person who lived in their neighborhood. Their families would meet and, after deciding neither party seemed like a murderer, they would get married and soon have a kid, all by the time they were twenty-four. Today, people marry later than ever and spend years of their lives on a quest to find the perfect person, a soul mate.

For years, Aziz Ansari has been aiming his comic insight at modern romance, but for Modern Romance, the book, he decided he needed to take things to another level. He teamed up with NYU sociologist Eric Klinenberg and designed a massive research project, including hundreds of interviews and focus groups conducted everywhere from Tokyo to Buenos Aires to Wichita. They analyzed behavioral data and surveys and created their own online research forum on Reddit, which drew thousands of messages. They enlisted the world’s leading social scientists, including Andrew Cherlin, Eli Finkel, Helen Fisher, Sheena Iyengar, Barry Schwartz, Sherry Turkle, and Robb Willer. The result is unlike any social science or humor book we’ve seen before.

In Modern Romance, Ansari combines his irreverent humor with cutting-edge social science to give us an unforgettable tour of our new romantic world.
There’s no doubt about it—breakups suck. But in the first few hours or weeks that follow, there’s one important truth you need to recognize: Some things can’t and shouldn’t be fixed, especially that loser who dumped you or forced you to dump him. It’s called a breakup because it’s broken, and starting right here, right now, it’s time to dry your tears, put down that pint of ice cream, log out of his email, and open this book to chapter one—and start turning your breakup into a breakover.

From Greg Behrendt, coauthor of the smash, two-million-copy bestseller He’s Just Not That Into You, comes It’s Called a Breakup Because It’s Broken—the ultimate survival guide to getting over Mr. Wrong and reclaiming your inner Superfox. From how to put yourself through “He-tox” to how to throw yourself a kick-ass pity party, Greg and his coauthor and wife, Amiira, share their hilarious and helpful roadmap for getting past the heartache and back into the game. You will learn:

Why you shouldn’t call him—and what he’s thinking when you do
How to keep your friends and not lose your job
How to avoid breakup pitfalls: IM-ing, stalking, having sex with your ex
Reframing reality—seeing the relationship for what it was
How to transform yourself into a hot, happening Superfox and get a jump on the better, brighter future that awaits

Complete with an essential workbook to help you put the crazy down on paper and not take it out into the world, It’s Called a Breakup Because It’s Broken is a must-have manual for finding your way back to an even more rocking you.
A fun and funny guide to dating from the bestselling authors of HOW TO KEEP YOUR MARRIAGE FROM SUCKING.

“The book is jam-packed with straight-talking tips on how to bag your man, and quite frankly, we can’t put it down.” —THE SUN

Why does dating have to be so hard?

It doesn’t! Stop trying to out-game the system and relax. IT'S JUST A F***ING DATE presents the tools, not the rules, for bringing back the art of the date. The ordeals of 21st century dating, from online dating and hooking up to pulling the plug when it isn’t working, will soon be easy to navigate. With tips to define what is and isn’t a date, how to get asked out, and setting your own dating standards, dating won’t seem old-fashioned, it will be fun.

Bestselling authors Greg Behrendt and Amiira Ruotola return to the minefield of modern relationships with this revised and updated edition.

Praise for HE'S JUST NOT THAT INTO YOU:

“No ego-soothing platitudes. No pop psychology. No cute relationship tricks. He’s just not that into you.” —WASHINGTON POST

“Brims with straight talk about the boy-meets-girl game, delivered with hefty doses of humor from the Y chromosome’s mouth.” —USA TODAY

“A surprisingly fascinating addition to the cultural canon of single, urban life.” —LOS ANGELES TIMES

“Evil genius.” —NEW YORK TIMES

Praise for IT'S CALLED A BREAKUP BECAUSE IT'S BROKEN:

“You will get through this, and you'll do it faster with the help of 'It's Called a Breakup Because It's Broken'.” —GLAMOUR

“Behrendt's frankness—never too harsh—is as winning as ever.” —PUBLISHERS WEEKLY

“Insightful, been-there-have-the-scars-to-prove-it wisdom.” —NEW YORK POST
It's the most annoying question and they just can't help asking you. You'll be asked it at family gatherings, weddings, and on first dates. And you'll ask yourself far too often. It's the question that has no good answer. It's the question that when people stop asking it, makes you feel even worse: Why are you single?

On a brisk October morning in New York, Julie Jenson, a single thirty-eight-yearold book publicist, is on her way to work when she gets a hysterical phone call from her friend Georgia. Reeling from her husband's announcement that he is leaving her for a samba teacher, Georgia convinces a reluctant Julie to organize a fun girls' night out with all their single friends to remind her why it is so much fun not to be tied down.

But the night, which starts with steaks and martinis and ends with a trip to the hospital, becomes a wake-up call for Julie. Because none of her friends seems to be having much fun right now: Alice, a former legal aid attorney, has recently quit her job to start dating for a living; Serena is so busy becoming a fully realized person that she can't find time to look for a mate; and Ruby, a curvy and compassionate woman, has been mourning the death of her cat for months.

So, fed up with the dysfunction and disappointments of being single in Manhattan, Julie quits her job and sets off to find out how women around the world are dealing with this dreaded phenomenon. From Paris to Rio to Sydney, Bali, Beijing, Mumbai, and Reykjavik, Julie falls in love, gets her heart broken, sees the world, and learns more than she ever dreamed possible. Back in New York, her friends are grappling with their own issues—bad blind dates, loveless engagements, custody battles, and single motherhood. Through their journeys, all these women fight to redefine their vision of love, happiness, and a fulfilled life.

Written in Liz Tuccillo's pitch-perfect, hilarious, and relatable voice, How to Be Single is the ultimate novel for the adventurer in us all.
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