HELL MATES

DR. NANDKUMAR UKADGAONKAR

oct 2019 · MEHTA PUBLISHING HOUSE

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THE TITLE HELL-MATES MAY POSSIBLY CREATE A MISUNDERSTANDING IN THE MINDS OF READERS. THE MEANING I INTEND TO IMPLY HERE IS ‘MY FRIENDS WHO REMAIN MY FRIENDS EVEN IN THE HELL’. I HAVE A FIRM BELIEF THAT DUE TO THE COLLECTIVE EXPLOITS AND MISCHIEF WE HAD INDULGED IN DURING OUR SCHOOLDAYS, TOGETHER, WE ALL THE FRIENDS ARE INEVITABLY DESTINED TO LAND INTO HELL. HOWEVER, A FEW OF MY OPPONENTS CLAIM— WHEREVER MAY WE BE SENT, EVEN IF WE ARE SENT TO HEAVEN, THAT PLACE IS BOUND TO BE TRANSFORMED INTO HELL. WHENEVER OUR TEACHERS DEMANDED IN THE CLASS THE NAMES OF THE PRANKSTERS, NONE OF US OPENED OUR MOUTHS. IT’S IN THIS SENSE, WE WERE TO EACH OTHER, MUTUAL ARMOURS— ‘HELMETS’, AND ‘HELL-MATES’, TOO! THANKS TO THE UNITY AMONGST US, MOSTLY THE WHOLE CLASS WOULD ALWAYS BE THE SHARER OF THE COLLECTIVE/ CORPORATE PUNISHMENT. WE HAD SIX ‘BIOMATRICS’ AMIDST US. YOU MAY FROWN AT THIS UN-ENGLISH WORD, BUT ‘BIOMATRIC’ IS A COINAGE OF A NEW COMPOUND WORD FROM TWO LANGUAGES: ‘BIO’ IS DERIVED FROM THE PLURAL ‘BAAYAA’ IN MARATHI WHICH MEANS ‘WOMEN’; AND ‘MATRIC’ WAS A COMMON TERM IN VOGUE IN OUR DAYS FOR THE FINAL YEAR OF HIGH SCHOOL. SO, THESE SIX BIOMATRICS MEANS OUR SIX CLASSMATE-GIRLS. ANOTHER REASON WHY I MENTIONED THEM AS BIOMATRICS IS BECAUSE THE WORD IMPLIES DUAL MEANINGS — THEY WERE EXPERTS IN TAKING A ROLL-CALL, AND ANOTHER, THEY WERE EXPERTS IN TAKING US TO TASK. FOR THE LAST TWENTY FIVE YEARS, WE FRIENDS, WHO HAVE BEEN TOGETHER SINCE 1962, GO OUT SOMEWHERE ON A FOUR-DAY- PLEASURE TRIP EVERY YEAR. MYSELF BEING A DOCTOR, I HAVE ALREADY SENT AHEAD FIVE OF US TO HELL TO MAKE ADVANCE BOOKING FOR REST OF US FOR FUTURE REUNION .

सत्य आठवणी व काल्पनिक प्रसंग यांना विनोदाचा मसाला लावून द्वैअर्थी शब्दांची फोडणी देऊन डॉ. नंदकमुार उकडगावकर यांनी लिहिलेल्या अठरा लेखांचं पुस्तक आहे ‘हेल मेट्स.’ शाब्दिक कोट्या हा या पुस्तकाचा गाभा! रोजच्या वापरातील शब्दांना वेगळे संदर्भ लावून हास्य फुलवता येते हे दाखवण्यासाठी केलेला हा खटाटोप. या लेखसंग्रहाचं एक वैशिष्ट्य आहे, ते म्हणजे -अर्धा शब्द मराठीतला व अर्धा इंग्रजीतला घेऊन काही नवीन शब्द तयार केले आहेत. त्यामुळे उच्चार जरी सारखा असला तरी त्यातून दोन वेगवेगळे अर्थ निघतात. उदा. बायो व MATRIC • बायोमॅट्रिक. या शिवाय प्रचलित शब्दांना नवे अर्थ लावण्याचा प्रयत्नही त्यांनी केला आहे. उदाहरणार्थ पाठ्यपुस्तक • पाठीवरचा मजकूर. ‘सवंगडी,’ ‘माझे हेल मेट्स,’ ‘माझं पाषाणयुग,’ ‘माझं पाठ्यपुस्तक,’ ‘आमची स भु’ या लेखांमध्ये शाळेतील आठवणी आहेत. सोबत आत्मचरित्राच्या जवळपास जाणारे ‘माझं ‘कृष्णा’यण,’ ‘आमचं ‘वैद्य’कीय महा ‘विद्या’लय,’ ‘किस्सा एमडीचा’ व ‘मा मा (माझी मास्तरकी)’ लेखही आहेत.