John Dies at the End: Volume 1
Sep 2009 · John Dies at the End Ibhuku elingu-1 · Kuthengiswe ngu-Macmillan
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John Dies at the End is a genre-bending, humorous account of two college drop-outs inadvertently charged with saving their small town--and the world--from a host of supernatural and paranormal invasions.
Now a Major Motion Picture.
"[Pargin] is like a mash-up of Douglas Adams and Stephen King... 'page-turner' is an understatement."
—Don Coscarelli, director, Phantasm I-V, Bubba Ho-tep
STOP.
You should not have touched this flyer with your bare hands. NO, don't put it down. It's too late. They're watching you.
My name is David. My best friend is John. Those names are fake. You might want to change yours.
You may not want to know about the things you'll read on these pages, about the sauce, about Korrok, about the invasion, and the future. But it's too late. You touched the book. You're in the game. You're under the eye.
The only defense is knowledge. You need to read this book, to the end. Even the part with the bratwurst. Why? You just have to trust me.
The important thing is this:
The sauce is a drug, and it gives users a window into another dimension.
John and I never had the chance to say no.
You still do.
I'm sorry to have involved you in this, I really am. But as you read about these terrible events and the very dark epoch the world is about to enter as a result, it is crucial you keep one thing in mind:
None of this was my fault.
Now a Major Motion Picture.
"[Pargin] is like a mash-up of Douglas Adams and Stephen King... 'page-turner' is an understatement."
—Don Coscarelli, director, Phantasm I-V, Bubba Ho-tep
STOP.
You should not have touched this flyer with your bare hands. NO, don't put it down. It's too late. They're watching you.
My name is David. My best friend is John. Those names are fake. You might want to change yours.
You may not want to know about the things you'll read on these pages, about the sauce, about Korrok, about the invasion, and the future. But it's too late. You touched the book. You're in the game. You're under the eye.
The only defense is knowledge. You need to read this book, to the end. Even the part with the bratwurst. Why? You just have to trust me.
The important thing is this:
The sauce is a drug, and it gives users a window into another dimension.
John and I never had the chance to say no.
You still do.
I'm sorry to have involved you in this, I really am. But as you read about these terrible events and the very dark epoch the world is about to enter as a result, it is crucial you keep one thing in mind:
None of this was my fault.
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Mayelana nomlobi
DAVID WONG is the pseudonym of Jason Pargin, New York Times bestselling author of the John Dies at the End series as well as the award-winning Futuristic Violence and Fancy Suits. His essays at Cracked.com have been read by tens of millions of people around the world. ZOEY PUNCHES THE FUTURE IN THE DICK: A Novel.
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