I Suck at Girls

Justin Halpern

May 2012 · Harper Collins

About this ebook

From the #1 New York Times–bestselling author of Sh*t My Dad Says: a funny and deeply touching collection of personal stories about relationships.

Fans of Sh*t My Dad Says will recognize the always-patient voice of Justin Halpern’s dad as it crackles through the pages of this hysterical new book. The story begins when Justin takes his dad out to lunch to announce that he’s decided to propose to his girlfriend.

“You’ve been dating her for four years,” his dad replies. “It ain’t like you found a parallel fucking universe.”

But eventually he gives Justin some advice: that he should take a day off and think back over everything he’s learned in life about women, relationships, and himself before making his decision. And that’s just what Justin does—revisiting everything from his disastrous childhood crushes to the night he finally lost his virginity while working as a dishwasher at Hooters.

I Suck at Girls is full of his dad’s patented brand of wisdom. But it’s also full of new characters just as funny as his dad—from his brother, who provides insights into wedding night rituals (“You stand in one corner of the room, and she stands in the other. You each take off one piece of clothing at a time”) to his first boss, who warns Justin to man up: “That’s what a man does. He takes his shots and then he scrubs the shit out of some dishes.” The result is a pilgrim’s progress through the landscape of sex and love—by one of the funniest writers at work today.

Ratings and reviews

I laughed out loud a few times. I went back & forth between enjoyment, astonishment at the dad's astutely pithy wisdom and feeling sorry for the author. So, mission accomplished. It drew me in, kept me interested, elicited emotions & entertained me......but damn, if he could become so successful after all that, what's stopping me or anyone else!?

Not as laugh-out-loud funny as Sh*t My Dad Says, but still a fun read. I think I'm giving it 4 stars because it seemed a bit short.

This book was great. Short read and constantly funny. His dad cracks my sh*t up. Not to mention the excellent advise. This guy needs to write more books.

About the author

Justin Halpern is the author of the #1 New York Times bestseller Sh*t My Dad Says, inspired by his massively popular Twitter feed. SPOILER ALERT: He lives with his wife in Los Angeles.