Stop Walking on Eggshells: Taking Your Life Back When Someone You Care About Has Borderline Personality Disorder, Edition 2

Paul Mason · Randi Kreger

Jan 2010 · New Harbinger Publications

About this ebook

Do you feel manipulated, controlled, or lied to? Are you the focus of intense, violent, and irrational rages? Do you feel you are "walking on eggshells" to avoid the next confrontation?

If the answer is "yes," someone you care about may have borderline personality disorder (BPD). Stop Walking on Eggshells has already helped nearly half a million people with friends and family members suffering from BPD understand this destructive disorder, set boundaries, and help their loved ones stop relying on dangerous BPD behaviors. This fully revised edition has been updated with the very latest BPD research and includes coping and communication skills you can use to stabilize your relationship with the BPD sufferer in your life.

This compassionate guide will enable you to:

Make sense out of the chaos

Stand up for yourself and assert your needs

Defuse arguments and conflicts

Protect yourself and others from violent behavior

Ratings and reviews

Saved my life. My mother bought the book when I was a young teen and waived it in my face saying, "this is how I will cope with you!" Well 20 years later I had moved back in temporarily with my 2 kids and I remembered why I left the first time, very quickly. Hervabuse was more clear and obvious. I was working hard to move us OUT when she realized it, and tried to stop me by calling child services saying I neglect and abuse my kids. They told me I can't move until their investigation was done. 6 months of covert abuse ensued that nearly killed me. I just wanted my kids out safe. In desperation for answers trapped in her house i found this old book, and the light flucked on!! Omg, its HER! She had done what I now know is projecting. She isolated me and family, friends, community heard lies about me bc it's triangulation. Backlighting, all of it explained to me that it's not all my fault. I'm not evil, or a bad mother. She was going through my room when she found my narcissist notes and research. She had the police come and escort me out, in the hopes with cos investigation, the kids would have to stay w her. They said no, there's no proof daughter abuses kids, no court order so they go with her. FREEDOM!!!!! It's been 3 years "no contact". I am in the support group online forum via this author. And my life has finally begun. A healing, and understanding process. Another good read for me was, "you're not crazy, it's your mother" . People who rate the life saving info in this book one star are surely personality disordered. And from my story you see how they don't like being discovered.

If you are in a very emotional and extremely painful place in your relationship, it's easy to feel many of these feelings... Borderline might be if. But alcoholism, sex and love addiction, drug, gambling, etc... It would be similar. It would Be similar if in a domestically volatile relationship ... Violent or verbally abusive. I think it's important to seek a psychiatrist for assistance with this info and diagnosis. Focus on yourself and how you might be a codependent person in a very unhealthy relationship. No matter what... It takes two people to have a failing relationship even if it's mother/daughter or husband/wife. Codependent people have addictive qualities too and that's why they need to focus on themselves. Don't care for this grand sweeping characterization because it overgeneralizea.

This book was written by someone who was in a bad relationship with someone she assumed was borderline. Did research on how others' experiences were. and basically wrote a book demonizing BPD's. My husband read half of your book and suddenly started badmouthing me, telling me Im manipulative and he is now 'taking charge'. I am chronically ill and have Autism, and have difficulty even working up the courage to ask for help to pass the salt if I am in too much pain to do so, now suddely asking for help is manipulative. This book should be banned! You are a destroyer of marriages. You had one bad experience and now we all suffer for it. My husband later appologised and realized your words provoked undeserved anger and treatment. No context is given anywhere. only accussations and misinterpretations. You should be ashamed.

About the author

Paul T. Mason, MS, is vice president of clinical services at Wheaton Franciscan Healthcare in Racine, WI. Under his leadership, the mental health and addiction care service line has expanded the number of inpatient services and outpatient programs it provides for patients, family members, and loved ones affected by borderline personality disorder (BPD). His research on BPD has been published in the Journal of Clinical Psychology and his written work has appeared in the news and print media.

Randi Kreger has brought the concerns of family members who have a loved one with BPD to an international forefront through her website, www.bpdcentral.com, and the Welcome to Oz online support community. Through Eggshells Press, she offers family members a wide variety of more specialized booklets and other materials. She was also instrumental in the formation of the Personality Disorders Awareness Network (PDAN), a not-for-profit organization. Kreger is author of The Stop Walking on Eggshells Workbook and The Essential Family Member Guide to Borderline Personality Disorder. She speaks and gives workshops about BPD internationally.