Prince Charming Opens Doors, the Buffoon Opens Legs: The Seduction Manual that Women Don't Want You to Read

Lucano Divina · Juan Pablo Bustamante

apr 2015. · Talleres Uchawi

O ovoj e-knjizi

Prince Charming Opens Doors, the Buffoon Opens Legs is the medicine that your organism is demanding. For a long time you have tried to seduce women using flowers, chocolates, and clichéd pick-up lines with the hope of opening legs, but instead you’ve had to settle for opening the doors of restaurants, cars, and elevators. You’re a Prince Charming, and that is your problem, your karma, and your disease. But be calm. Don’t worry. There is now a cure: you have to transform into a Buffoon, by following the advice of a Bengal tiger.

A Buffoon? Yes—the one who has his eyes wide open to the mating realities that Prince Charming refuses to see. He doesn’t look for love where there is only friendship. He realizes that paying for sex is cheaper than getting it free. He knows the hidden messages that his shoes send. He can distinguish the strategies used by women to win an argument without being right. He overcomes the feminine obsession with wanting to change men. He is an expert in one-night stands. He is confident that no Female human is out of his league. He is a Buffoon.

A Bengal tiger? Yes—Lucano Divina, who leads the Animal Revolution. He escaped from the Acheron Zoo to fight against the imperialism of human stupidity, and is being hunted by humans to be turned into a rug, due to the inconvenient truths he reveals. He writes a very popular and very reviled blog from the jungles of Latin America. He is considered the sexiest living being on the face of the Earth. He will make you a Buffoon.

Have you ever wondered what some guys did to become a woman magnet almost effortlessly? Now you know: you were in the company of Buffoons. Today you too can become one, if you accept the treatment that Lucano Divina offers you in this book. It won’t be easy: your organism will resist detoxification from your seduction preconceptions. You will be afraid to unlearn so you can learn, but in the end you will understand—you will understand women. That will be your advantage against your rivals. Never again will you say, “Nobody understands them,” because you will; and that will allow you to open countless legs.

O autoru

Lucano Divina is a Bengal tiger who escaped the zoo where he was being held prisoner and became the founder and leader of the Animal Revolution, a powerful insurgent movement that fights against the imperialism of human stupidity. For many years he was the biggest star in the cages, where visitors to the animal jail bought millions of stuffed animals made in his image. But everything changed once he grew old. His roar was regularly interrupted by a cough, and his orange-and-white fur with black stripes was changing into a white-and-white fur with white stripes. Due to the fact that his white hairs did not sell the same amount of souvenirs, the zoo decided to replace him with a younger feline talent, and that is when he escaped.

Ever since the first day of his freedom, far from the bars of his cell, Lucano has dedicated his efforts to exposing the flaws of humanity, publishing in his den, www.divinacomedia.com, what many people think but do not say out loud. In the beginning, humans merely thought him crazy and dismissed him, paying no attention to his utopic vision of vengeance against those who wanted to retire him. Today, he is still technically crazy… if by “crazy” you also mean “the sexiest living being on the face of the Earth,” followed on social networks by hundreds of thousands of Friends of the Wild willing to fight for Mother Nature. By the way, humans now take him so seriously that they want to hunt him down to turn him into a rug.