Rebuilding: When Your Relationship Ends

Bruce Fisher · Robert E. Alberti

Nov 1999 · Impact Publishers

About this ebook

"How does he know exactly what I'm feeling?" That's the most-heard reader comment about this one million copy bestseller by internationally-renowned divorce therapist Bruce Fisher.Rebuilding features Fisher's "divorce process rebuilding blocks," a proven nineteen-step process for putting one's life back together after divorce. Clearly the most widely-used approach to divorce recovery, the "rebuilding" model makes the process healthier and less traumatic for those who are divorcing or divorced--and their children. Over two decades of research and practice are combined with feedback from hundreds of thousands of men and women who have usedthe book on their own or in one of thousands of Fisher divorce recovery seminars worldwide. Also includes Bruce's detailed Healing Separation model--first of its kind to offer couples a healing alternative to the usual slide from separation to divorce. The 3rd edition, revised with the assistance of psychologist and marriage and family therapist Dr. Robert Alberti, continues Bruce's tradition of straight-to-the-heart response to the needs of his clients and readers. Just the right balance of shoulder-to-cry-on and kick-in-the-pants self-help!

Ratings and reviews

A friend lent me this book when my husband left me and I was in the depths of dispair. I was reading anything I could find to try and help me understand, but this is the one book that really helped. I latched onto it like a life-preserver to a drowning person. I have read each chapter several times now, and keep getting more out of it as I progress in my healing. I returned my friend's copy and bought my own (which I have now in turn lent to a friend in need.) One of the revelations I found comforting was simply to know what the physical symptoms of grief are - that my sore throat, my aching chest and my dry mouth were all manifestations of my emotional trauma. This book felt like I was talking to a friend who had been there and back, and could take me by the hand through the healing process and help me find my way back to joy. Please read it if you are hurting from the loss of a relationship - it will comfort you a great deal and help you move forward constructively. Then lend it to someone you know who could be helped by it. -Inga W. Holmquist

This is a very helpful book. It was recommended to me by a friend that said, "someday you will want to read this book". This was good advice. The book itself recommends that you take your time to read the book and process the information and process you feelings before moving on to another chapter. I read it last summer, it took me three months to get through it. Some parts are difficult to read as the subject of the chapter was very painful. I highly recommend this book to anyone immersed in the pain of a separation or divorce. I plan to start reading it for a second time next month and I know I will benefit again in a different way because I am in a different stage of my recovery now after a full year since the separation. The most interesting thing that caught my attention early in the book was the discussion of the "dumper" and the "dumpee" and the almost universal language used by and emotions experienced by each of these participants in a separation.

Let's hope that you don't have to make this purchase due to your personal life events, but if you go through such drastic events, it's great to have this book by your side. It dissects each and every emotion you possibly go through during the time of grief or loss and helps you reason with it. For those of us who need logical reasoning for everything, who really believe in healing process, and being mentally healthy and strong, will love this book.

About the author

Bruce Fisher, EdD, (1931-1998) developed the 'rebuilding' model of divorce recovery nearly forty years ago. As founder and director of the Family Relations Learning Center in Boulder, CO, he personally trained thousands of individuals and therapists in this approach, enriching the lives of hundreds of thousands worldwide. He was a popular divorce therapist, author, teacher, and clinical member of the American Association for Marriage and Family Therapy. Rebuilding, Fisher's best-selling guide to surviving divorce, has over a million copies in print in the United States, and editions in ten languages. His other books include Loving Choices, with Nina Hart, and the Rebuilding Facilitator's Manual, with Jere Bierhaus.