When Good People Have Affairs: Inside the Hearts & Minds of People in Two Relationships

· Macmillan
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“A wise and welcome addition to the self-help literature on infidelity.” —Janis Abrahms Spring, Ph.D., author of After the Affair

A world-renowned therapist, Mira Kirshenbaum has treated thousands of men and women caught in the powerful drama over what to do when an affair reaches into their emotional lives. Now, in When Good People Have Affairs, Kirshenbaum puts her unsurpassed experience into one clear, calming place. She gives readers everything they need to cut through the thickets of fear, hurt and confusion to find their ways to happier, more solid relationships with the person who’s right for them. For example, Kirshenbaum identifies seventeen types of affairs, helping readers figure out which type they’re in and what it means. Is it a:
  • “See-if” affair?
  • Ejector-seat affair?
  • Distraction affair?
  • Unmet-needs affair?
  • Panic affair?


Kirshenbaum encourages honest answers to such questions as:
  • What am I missing in my marriage?
  • How do I decide between two people when it’s like comparing an apple to an orange?
  • How do I decide to end my marriage, end my affair, or end them both?


She leads readers through six easy-to-navigate steps that will take anyone from anxiety to clarity. When Good People Have Affairs will be a lifeline to any man or woman who feels caught between two lovers, and its insights are indispensable to anyone else touched by an affair.

“Kirshenbaum brings us practical steps for understanding affairs and utilizing the mistakes we make for a deeper healing.” —Rabbi Ted Falcon, Ph.D., rabbi of Bet Alef: An Inclusive Spiritual Synagogue in Seattle and co-author of Judaism for Dummies

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MIRA KIRSHENBAUM is clinical director of the Chestnut Hill Institute in Boston, and has been treating patients in individual and couples therapy for over 30 years. She is the Relationship Expert at Revolution.com, and the author of ten other books.

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