The Way I Used to Be

Amber Smith

Mar 2016 · The Way I Used to Be Book 1 · Sold by Simon and Schuster

About this ebook

New York Times bestseller! In the tradition of Speak, Amber Smith's extraordinary debut novel “is a heart-twisting, but ultimately hopeful, exploration of how pain can lead to strength” (The Boston Globe).

Eden was always good at being good. Starting high school didn’t change who she was. But the night her brother’s best friend rapes her, Eden’s world capsizes.

What was once simple, is now complex. What Eden once loved—who she once loved—she now hates. What she thought she knew to be true, is now lies. Nothing makes sense anymore, and she knows she’s supposed to tell someone what happened but she can’t. So she buries it instead. And she buries the way she used to be.

Told in four parts—freshman, sophomore, junior, and senior year—this provocative debut reveals the deep cuts of trauma. But it also demonstrates one young woman’s strength as she navigates the disappointment and unbearable pains of adolescence, of first love and first heartbreak, of friendships broken and rebuilt, all while learning to embrace the power of survival she never knew she had hidden within her heart.

Ratings and reviews

I was intrigued the entire way through. But once I got to the last half of the book, my heart broke (and mended) for Eden, her family, her friends, her experiences, and myself due to similarities in my life and Edens. Best book I have read in a while.

I loved this book! I hate reading, I absolutely hate reading, but I just loved this book so much! I even did an English report about the book and I got an A+ on it! My teacher was so happy with how much I loved the book she recommended more books like this. I'm into the sexual, controversial books, and books like this one, idk why, but they are the books that I like to read so. I guess call me weird! But if you like books like that, than this book is the book for you!

I've read this book twice and I cried both times. As someone who was also raped as a teenager, I feel that this was written so accurately and put so many of my feelings into words. Everyone should read this novel.

About the author

Amber Smith is the New York Times bestselling author of the young adult novels The Way I Used to Be, The Last to Let Go, Something Like Gravity, and The Way I Am Now. An advocate for increased awareness of gendered violence, as well as LGBTQ equality, she writes in the hope that her books can help to foster change and spark dialogue surrounding these issues. She grew up in Buffalo, New York, and now lives in Charlotte, North Carolina, with her wife and their ever-growing family of rescued dogs and cats. You can find her online at AmberSmithAuthor.com.