EXPLORING SOULS: … the art of understanding who we really are
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I was annoyed of lots of people and the circumstances created by them … and many times … my reactions were really ugly.
I’ve blamed everyone.
On and on and on.
And even if i knew that it was all a reflection … when it came about my own life … i was blind and could not accept such a theory.
I was living 2 parallel lives … one where i was a theoretician that is analyzing and defining life …. and one living on the scene of my real life … where i was ignoring all i was doing in the first life.
It was a total nonsense to have 2 lives in the same time … instead of mixing them .. and trying to create a hybrid version for my existence.
There were moments when i was laughing of myself … of how silly i was … but …
Well … i was blind.
I count not connect the 2 realities.
I could not be … just one.
It was like i had … 2 souls inside of me … which was probably the most ridiculous idea i could come with.
But …. time was passing … and i was starting to understand… what was wrong.
I had indeed … 2 souls.
One was the self … the real one, the one connected with the Universe … and the other one was …. my ego … my fake self … which looked all the time … so damn real.
I continued my life … balancing.
On and on …. and on.
In fact i was not applying my spiritual knowledge to my own life … and i kept being annoyed.
No matter how good the curent reality was … i always found a reason … not to be satisfied … or even continue being unhappy.
It was like i was ignoring … even perfect case scenarios.
Well … in both of my parallel lives … i was analyzing a lot …. all around myself … but as a thinker i was looking at everything with detachment … and on the scene of reality … i was treating everything … as real.
There was no … detachment.
I had to mix my 2 personalities … and become just one.
It was ok that i was analyzing everything and everyone … but i had to stop judging and most important to ignore … or at least to pretend i don’t see the dark side of all was going on.
I had to stop being annoyed.
I had this freedom of exploring souls … but i had to learn to practice … the acceptance.
Being annoyed … was so, so stupid of me … cause i was annoyed of … my own reflection.
… of what i disliked on myself.
Exploring deeply the world and all the souls i was seeing on the scene of reality … was ok.
But … the wisest thing i could do … was to let my 2 parallel lives to interfere.
Apply the spiritual principles into the real life.
Forget about the illusion … of myself.
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I’ve started to write my first book at 16 … but then … realizing i could not publish it … i’ve abandoned the idea of being a … writer.
20 years later … i’ve started to write again … believing i will finally succeed … but i’ve failed one more time … not getting the success i was chasing for.
Another 5 years later … i’ve started one more time to write … but this time … more as a therapy.
It’s what i’ve defined as … self therapy.
I was analyzing and defining lots of weird ideas … that were a lot related to me … and my own soul.
I totally forgot that i was chasing for success.
I was simple writing my thoughts … in essays … becoming this way … maybe not a writer …. but what many define as … an essayist.
This is not a poet … and not a writer.
Or maybe is kind of a poet that is incapable of writing poetry … but is still expressing his thoughts … into a similar way … as a poet.
And is not a writer … cause have not the ability to write for too long time … about the same subject.
But maybe i am not an essayist… either.
I am just an ordinary person … that could be better defined … as a thinker.
Analyzing … and defining my life … practicing this process called … self therapy … i started to understand life … and the way to better paths which i should follow.
And i’ve wrote … and wrote … and wrote … realizing one day that i’ve published tens of books …. not really understanding how the hell I’ve succeeded doing that.
Today i dare to recommend writing … as a therapy.
I could even say … it’s a simple way of understanding who we are … but also a process that could help us … heal our souls.
I personally continue to … write.
It’s in fact … a non ending story that … at least for myself … will probably continue for the rest of my life.
But over all … i am glad … i am doing it.
I continue my philosophical journey … not being able to define myself for clear as a writer or an essayist… but …
Well …. most probably… i am on a good path.
And … i would dare to recommend to everyone … all what i am doing today.
