Safe People: How to Find Relationships That Are Good for You and Avoid Those That Aren't

Henry Cloud · John Townsend

May 2009 · Sold by Zondervan

About this ebook

Safe People will help you discover why good people can get tangled in bad relationships, how to avoid repeating your own mistakes, and how to pick safe, healthy people for the friends you make and the company you keep.

Too many of us have invested in relationships that have gone wrong. Maybe you've been judged, manipulated, or controlled. Or maybe you've trusted the wrong people in the past. It's easy to make the same mistakes of judgment over and over--or, worse, to give up on trying to have great, authentic relationships again. But it doesn't have to be that way.

In Safe People, Drs. Henry Cloud and John Townsend teach you that being with an unsafe person can be damaging to your confidence, your trust in others, and even your health. You'll learn that you have the power to surround yourself with accepting, honest, and safe people who draw you closer to being the person God intended you to be.

Drs. Cloud and Townsend, authors of the New York Times bestseller Boundaries, are here to share the lessons they've learned in their years of practicing psychology and studying the patterns and practices that support clear, biblical boundaries. In Safe People, they offer guidance for making safe choices in all of your day-to-day relationships, from family and friends to colleagues and partners.

Safe People will give you the tools you need to recognize what makes people relationally safe, form positive relationships, and even become a safe person along the way. Drs. Cloud and Townsend share expert insights that will help you ask important questions:

• How can I learn to pick better friends?
• Why do I choose people who let me down?
• How did I end up with this critical boss?
• How do I attract irresponsible people?
• Why did I invest money with that unscrupulous person?
• What is it about me that draws the wrong types of people to me?
• Why am I drawn to the wrong types of people?

It's time to revitalize your connections and finally start enjoying the healthy, balanced relationships that you deserve.

Ratings and reviews

Excessive Religiosity. If there is one constant in life, it is that you should not listen to the advice of religious people on the subject of human sexuality. There are 19 Bible citations (actual quotations annotated by chapter and verse) in the 21 pages of the first two chapters. The whole thing is clearly for the kind of education environment where "Jesus" is the answer to most questions. One of the authors (Cloud) even complains that he was talking to a group of Christian college students about dating and relationships, and he was unable to extract answers from them except "broad religious answers". I have no confidence that any of the advice in this book is even relevant to a general audience. I regret buying this book.

This is a good book to read. It turned out to be reasonable and something that has helped me to gain insight into some behaviors that I'd like to address. In the book I found some clear examples of why building relationships with "safe people" is advantageous. I especially liked the last chapter as that is the most difficult question to address. But it is only valuable if you've read the others. There are some points that I'm still examining but overall this book has been helpful.

One of the most amazing book I read. reflecting on it I also realize areas of interaction that are not safe for others. This is soooo helpful for church ministers, group leaders, inner healing minister and for everyone who have relationships. So worth it.

About the author

Dr. Henry Cloud is a clinical psychologist, pastor to pastors, and New York Times bestselling author. His 45 books, including the iconic Boundaries, have sold over 20 million copies worldwide. Throughout his storied career as a clinician, he started treatment centers, created breakthrough new models rooted in research, and has been a leading voice on issues of mental health and leadership on a global scale. Dr. Cloud lives in Los Angeles with his wife, Tori, and their two daughters, Olivia and Lucy.

Dr. John Townsend is a nationally known leadership consultant, psychologist, and author, selling over 10 million books, including the New York Times bestselling Boundaries series. John founded the Townsend Institute for Leadership and Counseling and the Townsend Leadership Program. Dr. Townsend travels extensively for corporate consulting, speaking events, and to help develop leaders, their teams, and their families. John and his family live in Southern California and Texas. Visit DrTownsend.com.