It's Not Supposed to Be This Way: Finding Unexpected Strength When Disappointments Leave You Shattered

Lysa TerKeurst

Nov 2018 · Sold by Thomas Nelson

About this ebook

#1 NEW YORK TIMES BESTSELLER

What do you do when God’s timing seems questionable, his lack of intervention hurtful, and his promises doubtful? Lysa TerKeurst unveils her heart amid shattering circumstances, inviting you to live assured when life doesn't turn out like you expected.

Life often looks so very different than we hoped or expected. Some events may simply catch us off guard for a season, but others shatter us completely. We feel disappointed and disillusioned at best and overwhelmed and hopeless at worst. We quietly start to wonder about the reality of God’s goodness and why he allows us to suffer and experience grief and loss.

Lysa TerKeurst understands this deeply. But after many tears, godly counseling, and prayerful seeking, she's also discovered that our disappointments can be the divine appointments our souls need to radically encounter God. In It's Not Supposed to Be This Way, Lysa invites us into her own journey of faith and, with grit, vulnerability, and honest humor, helps us to:

• Stop being pulled into the anxiety of disappointment by discovering how to better process unmet expectations and other painful situations.
• Train ourselves to recognize the three strategies of the enemy, so we can stand strong and persevere through unsettling relationships and uncertain outcomes.
• Discover the secret of being steadfast and not panicking when God actually does give us more than we can handle.
• Shift our suspicion that God is cruel or unfair to the biblical assurance that God is protecting and preparing us.
• Know how to encourage a friend and help her navigate hard realities with real help from God's truth, the Bible.

Look for additional biblically based resources and devotionals from Lysa:

• Good Boundaries and Goodbyes
• Forgiving What You Can't Forget
• Uninvited
• You're Going to Make It
• Embraced
• Seeing Beautiful Again

Ratings and reviews

This is one of the best Christian non-fiction / inspirational books I have studied this year! Lysa TerKeurst is a Christian woman, wife, mom, ministry leader, book and Bible study author who found herself in three major life crises in a short time. The situations highlighted in this book to show the power and love of God when we endure similar – or entirely different – circumstances that just weren’t supposed to happen. Circumstances that He can and does use for our good. The author takes us through her feelings and faith challenges she experienced as a result of those situations, and how she wrestled through with scripture, prayer, and reliance on the Lord. Her vulnerability is refreshing, her wisdom inspired by the Lord. “Disappointment isn’t proof that God is withholding good from us. Sometimes it’s His way of leading us home.” (pg. 5) Lysa doesn’t mince words. She does not minimize the Lord in any way, rather, He is everything! She is honest, showing that bad things do happen to Christians even while believing that God is good. She writes in a manner that someone who has been a Christian for any length of time, whether new or seasoned, can grasp when in the midst of a trauma. There are stories of people from scripture, and parts of her own life. The wisdom imparted comes from serious wrestling in a walk with God through painful disappointments. I could see myself in some of her feelings and reactions – not in circumstances like she was experiencing, but things going on in my own life. It isn’t the situations that are front and center, it is how we can learn to respond despite times that simply weren’t what that should have been. Those responses may sound overly simple to those not going through a trauma but are profound to the person who is trying to put one foot in front of the other for one more day. There are two ways we can get through – with God, or giving in to our flawed desires. One quote that is important is “We must set our minds and our hearts on things above by choosing to remember God’s words, repeat God’s words, and believe God’s word about us.” (pg. 65) I listened to the audiobook and read the print copy while doing the associated Bible study (and purchased the e-book), and I feel it is a valuable resource to the person going through struggles or the friend of someone struggling through hard times. Don’t compare the author’s situations to yours; instead, compare your reactions, feelings, and responses. I very much like the writer’s approach to seeking God, wrestling, praying, and getting into scripture. Our responses in times of crisis are vital to how we live our lives from those times forward. Regarding the audiobook, it is read by the author. I felt in many ways as if we were sitting in her kitchen over coffee or tea from the writing style and simply hearing her word sin her voice. Why did I get three formats? Because some things I learn better by repetitive hearing. Other times it is easier to open the book and search for the relevant pages, including chapter endings of “Going to the Well”, “Receive (a scripture)”, “Reflect”, and prayer. Back sections include scripture and helps for situations. I highly recommend this unique and timely book to Christians who are going through trauma of any kind and want to know that God is still in control and appreciate solid biblical teaching.

I read this book as a small group study. The timing could not have been more perfect! Facing hard realities and great uncertainties alone can cause even more devastation and pain. Lysa's wisdom and vulnerability proved to be a genuine source of healing and comfort for me and many of the other women who were reading this book with me. She helped transform the way I look at disappointment and how to walk between the "two gardens" with more faith and hope in God's power to hold and keep me in the midst of uncontrollable circumstances. This is a must have for every woman in need of receiving insight on how to process and walk through difficult times!

Good book! Lysa is so down to earth and funny too. She explains how God uses our pain (as dust) and mold it to make something beautiful and whole like pottery. She also explains that being vulnerable and not perfect makes you more humble and better able to connect with others.

About the author

Lysa TerKeurst is president and chief visionary officer of Proverbs 31 Ministries and the author of six New York Times bestsellers, including Good Boundaries and Goodbyes, Forgiving What You Can’t Forget, and It’s Not Supposed to Be This Way. She writes from her family’s farm table and lives in North Carolina. Connect with her at www.LysaTerKeurst.com or on social media @LysaTerKeurst.