Will I Ever Be Free of You?: How to Navigate a High-Conflict Divorce from a Narcissist and Heal Your Family

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Author of the bestseller Will I Ever Be Good Enough? Healing the Daughters of Narcissistic Mothers Dr. Karyl McBride draws on her expertise in treating children and partners damaged by narcissists in this practical new guide to divorce and its aftermath.

With more than three decades of experience as a licensed marriage and family therapist, Dr. McBride guides you through the emotional fallout and challenges of being married to and divorcing a narcissist. The court system assumes that both parties in most high-conflict divorces are at fault, but a narcissist can wreak havoc in the divorce process. Dr. McBride shows how to navigate this kind of divorce and how you and your children can heal afterward.

Written for those considering or already going through divorce, as well as the professionals working with them, Will I Ever Be Free of You? has three parts: Recognizing the Problem, Breaking Free, and Healing from the Debilitating Impact of Narcissistic Relationships. You begin by learning exactly what narcissism is, how to identify it, and how it affects relationships, then how to begin and carry on through a divorce and make the best decisions for you and your children. Dr. McBride lays out a roadmap of trauma recovery for the whole family, offering a step-by-step program for recognizing and healing from the particular emotional damage that narcissism causes.

This guide offers new therapeutic strategies and practical guidance for protecting yourself and your children through this difficult time.
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About the author

Karyl McBride, Ph.D., is a licensed marriage and family therapist with more than thirty years of experience in public and private practice, specializing in treatment of trauma. She is a leading authority on narcissism and author of Will I Ever Be Good Enough? Healing the Daughters of Narcissistic Mothers. She is a contributing blogger for Psychology Today, Huffington Post, and her recent book was featured in the New York Times book club. Dr. McBride can also be found online at WillIEverBeGoodEnough.com, KarylMcBridePhD.com, and Facebook.com/DrKarylMcBride.

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Additional Information

Publisher
Simon and Schuster
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Published on
Feb 10, 2015
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Pages
256
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ISBN
9781476755731
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Language
English
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Genres
Family & Relationships / Divorce & Separation
Family & Relationships / Marriage & Long-Term Relationships
Psychology / Psychotherapy / Couples & Family
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Content Protection
This content is DRM protected.
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Eligible for Family Library

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The first book specifically for daughters suffering from the emotional abuse of selfish, self-involved mothers, Will I Ever Be Good Enough? provides the expert assistance you need in order to overcome this debilitating history and reclaim your life for yourself. Drawing on over two decades of experience as a therapist specializing in women's psychology and health, psychotherapist Dr. Karyl McBride helpsyou recognize the widespread effects of this maternal emotional abuse and guides you as you create an individualized program for self-protection, resolution, and complete recovery.

An estimated 1.5 million American women have narcissistic personality disorder, which makes them so insecure and overbearing, insensitive and domineering that they can psychologically damage their daughters for life. Daughters of narcissistic mothers learn that maternal love is not unconditional, and that it is given only when they behave in accordance with their mothers' often unreasonable expectations and whims. As adults, these daughters consequently have difficulty overcoming their insecurities and feelings of inadequacy, disappointment, sadness, and emotional emptiness. They may also have a terrible fear of abandonment that leads them to form unhealthy love relationships, as well as a tendency to perfectionism and unrelenting self-criticism, or to self-sabotage and frustration.

Herself the recovering daughter of a narcissistic mother, Dr. McBride includes her personal struggle, which adds a profound level of authority to her work, along with the perspectives of the hundreds of suffering daughters she's interviewed over the years. Their stories of how maternal abuse has manifested in their lives -- as well as how they have successfully overcome its effects -- show you that you're not alone and that you can take back your life and have the control you want.

Dr. McBride's step-by-step program will enable you to:

(1) Recognize your own experience with maternal narcissism and its effects on all aspects of your life
(2) Discover how you have internalized verbal and nonverbal messages from your mother and how these have translated into a strong desire to overachieve or a tendency to self-sabotage
(3) Construct a step-by-step program to reclaim your life and enhance your sense of self, a process that includes creating a psychological separation from your mother and breaking the legacy of abuse. You will also learn how not to repeat your mother's mistakes with your own daughter.

Warm and sympathetic, filled with the examples of women who have established healthy boundaries with their hurtful mothers, Will I Ever Be Good Enough? encourages and inspires you as it aids your recovery.
Do you know someone who is overly arrogant, shows an extreme lack of empathy, or exhibits an inflated sense of entitlement? Do they exploit others, or engage in magical thinking? These are all traits of narcissistic personality disorder, and when it comes to dealing with narcissists, it can be difficult to get your point across. So how do you handle the narcissistic people in your life? You might interact with them in social or professional settings, and you might even love one—so ignoring them isn’t really a practical solution. They're frustrating, and maybe even intimidating, but ultimately, you need to find a way of communicating effectively with them.

Disarming the Narcissist, Second Edition, will show you how to move past the narcissist's defenses using compassionate, empathetic communication. You'll learn how narcissists view the world, how to navigate their coping styles, and why, oftentimes, it's sad and lonely being a narcissist. By learning to anticipate and avoid certain hot-button issues, you'll be able to relate to narcissists without triggering aggression. By validating some common narcissistic concerns, you'll also find out how to be heard in conversation with a narcissist.

This book will help you learn to meet your own needs while side-stepping unproductive power struggles and senseless arguments with someone who is at the center of his or her own universe. This new edition also includes new chapters on dealing with narcissistic women, aggressive and abusive narcissists, strategies for safety, and the link between narcissism and sex addiction.

Finally, you'll learn how to set limits with your narcissist and when it's time to draw the line on unacceptable behavior.
Your ex-spouse is bad mouthing you to your children, constantly portraying you in a negative light, perhaps even trying to turn them against you. If you handle the situation ineffectively, your relationship with your children could suffer. You could lose their respect, lose their affections-even, in extreme cases, lose all contact with them. The conventional advice is to do nothing, that fighting fire with fire will only result in greater injury to the children. But after years of consulting parents who heeded such advice with no success, Dr. Richard Warshak is convinced that this approach is wrong. It doesn't work, and parents are left feeling helpless and hopeless. DIVORCE POISON instead offers a blueprint for effective response. In it, you will learn how to distinguish different types of criticism, how and why parents manipulate their children, how to detect these maneuvers, and how these practices damage children. Most importantly, you'll discover powerful strategies to preserve and rebuild loving relationships with your children.

DIVORCE POISON is a time-tested work that gives parents powerful strategies to preserve and rebuild loving relationships with their children-and provides practical advice from legal and mental-health professionals to help their clients and safeguard the welfare of children. Whether they are perpetrators of divorce poison, victims of it, or both, parents who heed Dr. Warshak's advice will enable their children to maintain love and respect for their parents-even if their parents no longer love and respect each other.

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