I've Got Sand In All the Wrong Places

The Amazing Adventures of an Ordinary Woman

Book 7
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Lisa and Francesca are back with another collection of warm and witty stories that will strike a chord with every woman. This six book series is among the best reviewed humor books published today and has been compared to the late greats, Erma Bombeck and Nora Ephron. Delia Ephron said of the fifth book in the series, Have a Nice Guilt Trip, "Lisa and Francesca, mother and daughter, bring you the laughter of their lives once again and better than ever. You will identify with these tales of guilt and fall in love with them and fierce (grand) Mother Mary." This seventh volume will not disappoint as it hits the humorous and poignant note that fans have come to expect from the beloved mother-daughter duo.
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About the author

LISA SCOTTOLINE is the New York Times bestselling author of more than thirty novels, including the Rosato & DiNunzio legal thrillers (beginning with Accused). Her standalone novels include Save Me, Don’t Go, and Dirty Blonde. Scottoline has won an Edgar Award and Cosmopolitan magazine’s “Fun Fearless Fiction” Award; multiple Earphones Awards for her nonfiction book recordings; and a “Paving the Way” Award from the University of Pennsylvania. She has served as the president of Mystery Writers of America and teaches a course on justice and fiction at the University of Pennsylvania Law School, her alma mater. She lives in the Philadelphia area.

FRANCESCA SERRITELLA graduated cum laude from Harvard University, where she won the Thomas Temple Hoopes Prize, the Le Baron Russell Briggs Fiction Prize, and the Charles Edmund Horman Prize for her creative writing. She lives in New York with only one dog, so far.

Scottoline and Serritella write a weekly column, “Chick Wit”, for The Philadelphia Inquirer. The columns have been collected in Why My Third Husband Will Be a Dog; My Nest Isn't Empty, It Just Has More Closet Space; and Best Friends, Occasional Enemies, among others.

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Additional Information

Publisher
St. Martin's Press
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Published on
Jul 12, 2016
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Pages
272
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ISBN
9781466865259
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Language
English
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Genres
Family & Relationships / Parenting / Parent & Adult Child
Humor / Form / Essays
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Content Protection
This content is DRM protected.
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Read Aloud
Available on Android devices
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Eligible for Family Library

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From the New York Times bestselling writing team comes a hilarious new collection of essays that observe life from a mother/daughter perspective

New York Times bestselling author Lisa Scottoline and her daughter Francesca Serritella are the best of friends—99.9% of the time. They're number one on each other's speed dial and they tell each other everything—well, almost everything. They share shoes and clothes—except one very special green jacket, which almost caused a catfight.

In other words, they're just like every mother and daughter in the world. Best friends, and occasional enemies. Now they're dishing about it all—their lives, their relationship, and their carb count.

Inspired by their weekly column, "Chick Wit" for The Philadelphia Inquirer, this book is one you'll have to put down—just to stop laughing.

Lisa on Being a Mom - Motherhood has no expiration date. Francesca lives in the city, and I worry about her all the time. My daughter moved out, so why am I still lactating?

Francesca on Being a Daughter - My mother is always right. Just ask her.

Lisa on Things Every Daughter Should Know - Your mother is always thinking about you, but that's not creepy. Your mother will never forget who did you dirty in the sixth grade, for which you can thank her. And your mother will never stop asking you if you need to go to the bathroom, before you leave the house. Well, do you?

Francesca on Closet Wars - My mom is a great dresser. Mostly because she's wearing my clothes.

Lisa on Aging Gracefully - My sex drive is in reverse, I have more whiskers than my cat, and my estrogen replacement is tequila.

Francesca on Apartment Living - When I saw a mouse, the first person I called was Mom. She told me to call my super, but I felt bad bothering him. I hate to bother people. But I love to bother my mother.

The #1 New York Times Bestseller

A hilarious, thoughtful, and in-depth exploration of the pleasures and perils of modern romance from Aziz Ansari, the star of Master of None and one of this generation’s sharpest comedic voices

At some point, every one of us embarks on a journey to find love. We meet people, date, get into and out of relationships, all with the hope of finding someone with whom we share a deep connection. This seems standard now, but it’s wildly different from what people did even just decades ago. Single people today have more romantic options than at any point in human history. With technology, our abilities to connect with and sort through these options are staggering. So why are so many people frustrated?

Some of our problems are unique to our time. “Why did this guy just text me an emoji of a pizza?” “Should I go out with this girl even though she listed Combos as one of her favorite snack foods? Combos?!” “My girlfriend just got a message from some dude named Nathan. Who’s Nathan? Did he just send her a photo of his penis? Should I check just to be sure?” 

But the transformation of our romantic lives can’t be explained by technology alone. In a short period of time, the whole culture of finding love has changed dramatically. A few decades ago, people would find a decent person who lived in their neighborhood. Their families would meet and, after deciding neither party seemed like a murderer, they would get married and soon have a kid, all by the time they were twenty-four. Today, people marry later than ever and spend years of their lives on a quest to find the perfect person, a soul mate.

For years, Aziz Ansari has been aiming his comic insight at modern romance, but for Modern Romance, the book, he decided he needed to take things to another level. He teamed up with NYU sociologist Eric Klinenberg and designed a massive research project, including hundreds of interviews and focus groups conducted everywhere from Tokyo to Buenos Aires to Wichita. They analyzed behavioral data and surveys and created their own online research forum on Reddit, which drew thousands of messages. They enlisted the world’s leading social scientists, including Andrew Cherlin, Eli Finkel, Helen Fisher, Sheena Iyengar, Barry Schwartz, Sherry Turkle, and Robb Willer. The result is unlike any social science or humor book we’ve seen before.

In Modern Romance, Ansari combines his irreverent humor with cutting-edge social science to give us an unforgettable tour of our new romantic world.
How to Deal with 21st Century American Women teaches men from all walks of life how to understand and adapt to the evolving male-female paradigm shift occurring at every level of American society. Today, women run companies, become school principles, military generals, police chiefs, corporation CEOs and dozens of other power positions where they make more money and give orders to male employees. Its no longer exclusively a mans world. Women compete for the highest job slots at colleges, governorships of states, Ph.D. programs and athletic money in professional sports. Where men once drove the car for dates, women demand equality in the work, family and social realm. Men need to slide over and share the driving with women. This enormous emotional, social and sexual shift in the Western world creates a new male-female relationship dynamic. This shift proves the first of its kind in human history. The new dynamic also creates incredible confusion, frustration and exasperation. Along the way, women want men to be men. They want a good man to marry and raise a family. But early in the 21st century, half of all marriages end in divorce. Male domestic violence continues at distressing levels. Weekend fathers explode on the emotional landscape. Children suffer the loss of structure, a balanced family unit and a sense of belonging. This book enlightens, educates and encourages men to maintain their masculinity while adapting and thriving in the new male-female paradigm of the 21st century. The book presents straight-forward ideas to men on how to deal with a 21st century American woman. This book shows men how to successfully marry the right woman for long-term success. It shows which women to avoid. The book creates new understandings to move men forward in relationships in the 21st century.
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