Conquering Shame and Codependency: 8 Steps to Freeing the True You

Darlene Lancer

Jun 2014 · Sold by Simon and Schuster

About this ebook

Learn how to heal from the destructive hold of shame and codependency by implementing eight steps that will empower the real you and lead to healthier relationships.

Shame: the torment you feel when you’re exposed, humiliated, or rejected; the feeling of not being good enough. It’s a deeply painful and universal emotion, yet is not frequently discussed.

For some, shame lurks in the unconscious, undermining self-esteem, destroying confidence, and leading to codependency. These codependent relationships--where we overlook our own needs and desires as we try to care for, protect, or please another--often cover up abuse, addiction, or other harmful behaviors.

Shame and codependency feed off one another, making us feel stuck, never able to let go, move on, and become the true self we were meant to be.

In Conquering Shame and Codependency, Darlene Lancer sheds new light on shame: how codependents’ feelings and beliefs about shame affect their identity, their behavior, and how shame can corrode relationships, destroying trust and love. She then provides eight steps to heal from shame, learn to love yourself, and develop healthy relationships.

Ratings and reviews

on point hit the nail right in the head. For years, I've felt this void and uncertainty but could not pin point it. Till today, all my answer were finally in front of my " I' m suffering in silence feeling empty and anxious no matter what I've accomplished." The shame lingers deep inside my being in silence dictating every action and punishing me for not measure to his ideas of what I supposed to be.

I purchased this book to learn about shame and codependency it has great question exersices at the end of each chapter the only thing I did not like was the chapter on sexuality the author at the beginning of the chapter began criticizing the Catholic church views on sexuality taking about an encyclical he wrote. She is biased here in this chapter right away saying her view on sexuality is correct when she doesn't even know the correct Catholic teachings on the subject. She says Catholic church shames people on sexuality but that's not true the Church simply wants best for a person to live sexuality fully fruitfully in marriage not using other person as object of their own pleasure but recognizing them as a body mind and soul integral whole person that needs to be respected and loved. Pleasure will result of the love they give one another but won't be the only means of sleeping with their partner. Well other chapters are great help it was just that one that tried to distort truth.

This book was a massive eye opener for me.. and finally I felt understood. so many wow moments, at times I felt fear down to my core because of the questions I was forced to think about and the emotions I was forced to feel answering them... thank you 😊

About the author

Darlene Lancer is a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist and expert author on relationships, narcissism, and codependency. She’s counseled individuals and couples for over 30 years and coaches internationally. Her 10 books include Dating, Loving, and Leaving a Narcissist, Conquering Shame and Codependency: 8 Steps to Freeing the True You, Codependency for Dummies and seven ebooks, including 10 Steps to Self-Esteem, How To Speak Your Mind - Become Assertive and Set Limits, Dealing with a Narcissist: 8 Steps to Raise Self-Esteem and Set Boundaries with Difficult People, "I'm Not Perfect - I'm Only Human" - How to Beat Perfectionism, and Freedom from Guilt and Blame - Finding Self-Forgiveness. Her website is www.whatiscodependency.com, where you can get a free copy of “14 Tips for Letting Go.” She’s a sought-after speaker in media and at professional conferences. Find her on Soundcloud, Clyp, LinkedIn, Youtube, Twitter, Instagram, and Facebook.